The Bitter Suite
by sarah lambert-ratliff
Summary: Tony Stark nearly died at the hands of Loki's army, and Steve suddenly find himself having to face painful truths about his past and his feelings for the man of iron. Set just after the 2012 movie, spoilers. Will include Steve/Stark pairings. Written for Sadie
1. Chapter 1

The Bitter Suite

Chapter One

It was all over now, the world had been saved, the Chitari had been destroyed, the war criminal had returned home to Asgard with the blonde bombshell. Now there was nothing to do, but throw a 'We saved the world party' and Tony Stark sure did know how to throw a party. The whole of SHIELD was there in his mansion, the drink flowed freely. The music pounded out in every room provided by Jarvis, the lights flashed. Every one was having a really good time, well except for one Mr Steven Rogers that is.

A man out of time, he didn't belong here with these people. He had never liked parties, he sat on the outside of the room drinking a double whisky with ice, just watching the others. Clint and Tasha were in an advanced state of excitement, grinding together on the dance floor. He doubted that it would be very much longer before they both snuck away for a little privacy. Agent Hill and Fury were busy chatting, Pepper Potts acting as a sweet hostess making sure that everyone had what they needed. Hulk was chatting animatedly with Stark.

His heart froze, and he finished the drink in one gulp. Grabbing another two glasses off a waiter as he went by. Seventy years ago after his treatment, he'd discovered drink no longer affected him. Now though that was clearly no longer the case. He didn't know if the drink was stronger then he was used to, or if the time in the ice had changed him, but he certainly felt the warmth of the potion colouring his cheeks. It took a little while longer then it would have before the operation, but it was certainly getting to him.

He had admired Stark for all they had argued during their time at SHIELD. They had worked together eventually. After Coulson's death, he'd seen a side of that brash, egomaniac he'd never expected. He really did have a softer side, and a heart of gold. He really did care about others, even though he tried to hide it. When he had undertaken that suicide mission to save them all, it had been far more then Steve had ever expected. And it was a side of him that Steve had found himself greatly attracted to. That poor fragile man inside the suit, wanting to hug him and take away the pain from his tired frame.

The emotions shocked him, being gay in his time was a wrong and disgusting act that you never spoke of. That's why he had always hidden those urges away, repressing them as much as he could. He had enough reasons to not be allowed in the army without that stigma as well.

Then Tony had crashed back through the portal into the world again, and the Hulk had saved his life. Steve had come to see what could be done, Thor had ripped off the face plate of the suit, but without tearing off the whole machine it was hard to see what could be done to help him. And it would be impossible to treat him medically. Steve's heart had been crushed when he thought the man dead. The relief he had felt when Tony had opened his eyes again, he had nearly cried. He had stayed strong as long as he had been able to, until he was alone. Pushing those feeling back down like he had done so many times before. Burying everything about how he felt, just like he always had. Just like he always would.

Tonight however he was finding it far harder, with the whisky deep in his veins. He'd been watching Stark that whole evening in that sinfully tight black suit which left nothing to the imagination. The other had not once cast an eye in Steve's direction as he flirted his way across the room. Watching the billionaire touching a girls arm and kissing her, the green eyed monster raised his head inside of the Captain again. He wanted nothing more then to stamp across that room, grab Stark and kiss him until he would take no more.

Steve drank several more glasses before finally shaking his head and leaving the mansion. He hadn't gotten two steps down the drive before Stark was after him. "Going so soon Captain?" he had asked.

"Didn't think anyone would notice me leaving." Steve bit back.

"Well you were a wall flower all evening, so you can hardly expect long meaningful conversations from your whisky glass!" Tony said.

"I didn't notice my host paying any attention to what I was doing!" Steve growled back.

"Are you drunk?" Tony asked surprised.

"Wasn't that the whole point of this evening?" Steve asked, "Getting drunk and making a good time."

"I thought my fathers notes said you weren't capable of it actually affecting you."

"Well, your father was wrong!"

"Unless you wanted to be drunk?"

"If I did, then that's up to me and no business of yours. Last time I checked I was more then seventy years over the legal age to drink in the U S of A. Now you have a room full of women to work your way through, so don't let me keep you from them!" Steve snapped. Then seeing the look on Tony's face he wished he could take the words back, damn his lose tongue.

"Are you jealous?" Tony asked, "I could introduce you to a few.

"Just forget it, I'm drunk. I don't know what I'm saying!"

Steve walked away but Tony grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Oh I think you know exactly what you are saying, and I think you need to finish that sentence right now big man!"

"Why?" Steve demanded, shoving him roughly away. "So that you can know how damaged I really am? So you can find out that I'm a deviant? That I'm broken inside so very badly I can't even entertain the thought of being touched by a woman? You don't need to know any of that! SO just forget it and tomorrow we will be back on the job like nothing ever happened."

Tony was floored trying to work out what he was being told. Then it dawn on him slowly, "You are gay!"

"Don't say that to me, I'm not gay!" Steve said squaring up to him.

"Oh yes you are, it makes perfect sense. You do know that being gay isn't looked down on anymore right? Men marry other men every day!" Tony said.

"SHUT UP!" Steve shouted, "You know nothing about me, or how I feel or who about!"

"Oh this is just too perfect old man, you come out of defrost and you have a man crush already! Who is it?" Tony asked, "Thor? No too pretty. How about Legolas? Do his arrows turn you on?"

"I'm so not doing this!" Steve said walking away.

"Oh come on Cap, its only a bit of fun."

"Love isn't fun, its pain and sorrow when you lose those you love!"

"Oh tell me that its Banner? That would be just too perfect. Captain Fancy pants, who has no emotion, with the huge green rage monster!" Tony joked.

Steve turned sharply, "Its you, you bastard okay!"

Stark sobered instantly, "Come again?"

"Ever since I saw how hurt and frightened you were after Coulson's death. When you lost your first solider on the battlefield, I knew how that felt. I lost my best friend too, he died because of me! All I knew when I saw you almost crying was I wanted to protect you, keep you safe from the world. When I thought you ahd died, I wanted only to die as well, so that I didn't have to live without you. So go on, joke all you want about peoples emotions!"

Tony looked at him, his mouth open. Words just wouldn't come, it was so unexpected. He wouldn't lie and say he hadn't had a few dark thoughts about that fine ass, but then again guys weren't usually his thing.

Steve shook his head and drove away pretty unsteadily on his motorbike.

"At least let me drive you home!" Tony shouted.

He was ignored, "Oh hell!" Tony said, "Jarvis, keep a track on him!"

"Yes sir!" The machine said with its usual level of sarcasm.

"And get my suit ready, he's gonna crash in this state." Tony said heading inside.

"I already did in readiness of your desire."

"Smart alec!" Tony grouched.


	2. Chapter 2

Bitter Suite

Chapter Two

Tony got back into the house and pulled Pepper to one side, "Break it up now, get these people out of here." he said. Then rushed past her to go put on the suit. She stared at him open mouthed and followed watching him shouting at Jarvis to hurry up dressing him in the metal casing. She'd never seen him this wound up before, and certainly not at his beloved machine. He had built every piece of it himself, and kept it running perfectly programmed to suit his every need. Why now was he in such a rush to leave?"

"Tony, what's going on? You are drunk, you shouldn't be flying in that death trap!"

"I'm going after Steve before he crashes out on that blasted bike of his, Jarvis hurry up!" he snapped.

"Steve, on a bike? Do you know how much he drank?" she asked.

"That would be why I'm going after him wouldn't it!" Stark bit back.

Pepper would normally bite back at that but her boss was too freaked out for her to risk it, "Do you need help? I can get the others?"

Stark shook his head adjusting the helmet slightly. "I don't think he needs too many people around him right now."

"What did you do, Tony?" she demanded.

"Why do you always assume the worst of me?" he demanded.

"Because I know you!" Pepper answered.

"Pepper, dear, we can fight over this later. I don't have the time right now, I have to go save Captain Fancy Pants before he ends up as road kill." Stark glared, blasting through the roof to hunt down his friend.

Pepper sighed and pulled her phone out of her pocket. It picked up on the second ring, "Fury? We have a situation."

Meanwhile Steve was bombing down the road way too fast, tears clouding his vision as he drove. He'd lost everything he had worked for since he had woken up in this strange world. His job, friends, he'd almost found himself a new family in the Avengers. Now he'd never be able to face any of them every again. Not after his stupid admission! Surely he had learned better after hiding his feelings half his life then to shout out about them now!

He cursed himself for getting so drunk, and even more so for shooting his stupid mouth off about everything. How could he have been so stupid! He would go to Fury tomorrow and tell him he was leaving the team. There was nothing else that he could do now. There was no way he could pull it off as only a drunken joke or take back his words.

As the tears fell even heavier, Steve revved the bike to go even faster. 90, then 100, 120 miles an hour now. He swerved badly around a snaking corner nearly crashing out, but just managing to pull it back in time. He knew that he was in no condition to drive, hell he wasn't in any condition to do anything but go home and sleep it off. His raging thoughts wouldn't allow him to stop right now. The need for speed trying to sooth the anger and self loathing he felt for this whole situation. He thought about the look of surprise and horror on Stark's face as he had confessed his feelings.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" he muttered under his breath.

He took one hand off of the handlebars to wipe his tears away. That was yet another mistake, the second he wasn't paying attention, the bike hit a bump in the road, and at that speed he completely lost control of the bike. At the next corner he tumbled off as the bike turned into scrap metal as it punched through the barriers and off of the side of the cliff. Smashing a few hundred feet below on the rocks.

Captain was moving with too much force still, that he was carried over the edge as well. He thought for a second about grabbing something to break his fall or stop him from completely going over. The darkness in his heart stopped him from reacting. Perhaps this is easier? he thought. He was lost in this world, he should have died in the ice. Maybe fate now was making sure of itself and putting the record back straight?

At least dead he wouldn't have to deal with any more of this crap, and his body could be made useful to Banner, in trying to fix the potion to breed more like him. Resigned to his fate, Steve crashed onto the rocks below and blacked out. The last thought he had was of Stark, wishing so much he could see him one last time. He could almost hear is voice calling him in the distance.

Iron man flew down the roadside after his captain, "Jarvis, any sign of an energy signature matching his bike?" he asked.

"Negative Sir, but there are signs of metallic debris a little under two miles ahead of you." Jarvis answered.

"Oh hell!" Stark muttered, turning on the boosters to get there faster.

Sure enough as he landed, Stark found pieces of the mangled motorbike. Stooping to pick up the buckled number plate he found resting on the ground. There were skid marks where he had almost stripped the tires bald trying to break. "God damn it, what did I make you do?" Tony muttered.

"Sir?" Jarvis asked.

Stark looked over the edge at the smoking wreck far below them. His voice cracked as he went to speak, but he coughed and tried again. Although his voice was a pale imitation of his usual vocal dexterity, "Are there any life signs?"

"One and it is very weak, you should hurry."

Tony was down there in a second, searching, tearing through the shattered metal parts, throwing them around looking for any sign of his dear friend. Hurling a chunk of exhaust out of the way, he saw a piece of a tattered tee shirt he knew all to well. "STEVE!" he shouted, shoving metal out of the way to get over there.

Stark froze at the sight of Steve's wrecked body. His leg was at a very strange angle, clearly broken in several places. His arm looked dislocated, a huge gash dominated his forehead, spurting blood still. And there certainly was a lot of it, staining the cap's clothing and the ground nearby. That in the end was what stirred his frozen body into action. "Jarvis, assessment!" he snapped, kneeling by the old man, trying to stop the flow of blood before it was too late.

"Dislocation left shoulder, multiple breaks and contusions, damage to ribs right hand side, internal bleeding, possible pierced lung, blow to left side of head, concussion, body temperature low, shock setting in. Recommended imediate removal to nearest hospital." the machine answered.

"Dear God Steve, what did you do to yourself?" Tony asked, "What did I do to you!" Trying to pick his friend up without hurting him anymore then he already was. Steve's eyes fluttered open and he moaned in pain. "Take it easy big guy, I'm going to get you some help." Tony promised.

Steve shook his head weakly, "Time to let me go." he muttered.

"Never, there is no way I'm letting you go anywhere without me!" Tony vowed as he raised into the air heading towards the hospital.

"Tony, I'm not worth saving. Please." he said as his head rolled weakly onto the other man's shoulder as they moved. If the situation was different, he could have found himself quite enjoying the position. Cuddled close enough to smell Tony's expensive aftershave.

"Stop talking, save your strength Steve. I messed this up, ad I'm gonna fix it. You said I'd never lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over me, now let me prove you wrong." Tony promised. Steve had taught him that you never leave an man behind, and he sure as hell wasn't going to give the Captain the chance to go anywhere!


	3. Chapter 3

The Bitter Suite

Chapter Three

Stark half crashed into the hospital wearing the suit and everything still. "I need some help here!" he shouted, holding Steve's broken body as best he could. Doctors quickly moved over, bringing over a gurney and a load of IV's. Tony dropped his friend gently onto it, grateful to be able to lay him somewhere he wouldn't get hurt any more. He had been terrified the whole way there that he was doing more harm then good to Steve.

"What happened?" he was asked briefly.

"There was a motorbike accident, he's lost a lot of blood." Tony answered, "We need a special Doctor, erm I need to get to a phone please." He noticed the suits in the back ground lurking, and breathed a sigh of relief when he realised that Pepper must have called in advance.

"Everything is under control Mr Stark." He was promised by some nameless, faceless suit, and he was taken to some waiting area grey and colourless. Hours he sat there drinking flavourless coffee, while Steve was fighting for his life in surgery a few rooms away. It tore his heart out to be so helpless, waiting for the Doctors to do what they do best.

Slowly the rest of the team arrived, first Tasha and Barton, then Banner. They all took a seat, without saying a word after seeing Stark's face. All waiting with mutual concern on their faces, they hadn't known the guy long, but he was family. Not one of them wanted him to be hurt, every one of them would give their life for him.

Lastly Pepper walked in hand in hand with Agent Coulson. Phil, Tony reminded himself with a great effort. The pair of them had gotten engaged a few months ago, he'd been very jealous at first. Wanting to keep Pepper all to himself, worried about losing the best friend that he had. Eventually he had come to accept her choice, and seeing how happy they were together he gave his blessing. He had even bought them the expensive diamond engagement ring she was wearing. When he had thought Coulson dead at Loki's hands, he had been terrified at how she would react. In one way he was glad that Fury had lied to them, so he didn't have to see her soul crushed at the loss. That hadn't stopped him from ranting and raving, and Steve and Banner having to hold him back before he got his hands around Nick's throat. They had shoved him out the room very quickly as he had hurled abuse at the older man. Not that any of them had been happy at the way they had been used.

The agent was still leaning on Pepper a lot, after all the stabbing had been less then two days before. He shouldn't really be up and around, but he had too much respect (and a massive man crush) for Steve Rogers for him to lie in a hospital bed while he fought for his life. He was wearing the suit he normally did, but it was creased in a way he would normally never allow, and his calm face was marked with sweat marks and pain from the effort of being up. "Is there any news?" Coulson asked, painfully lowering himself onto a chair.

Stark shook his head, rubbing his tired eyes. Working it out quickly from the battles, and Fury and the party was this his fourth day straight without sleep, or fifth? Pepper came over to him, and nudged his leg. He lifted his head slowly, tiredly to see what she wanted. "Come with me, now." She said matter of factly.

It was a testament to just how exhausted he was, that Stark just followed her without arguing. When she got him far enough away from the others to not be over heard, she turned on him. "Now tell me what's going on, and tell me the truth this time." She demanded.

Tony swallowed a few times, "I can't tell you."

"Since when have we ever had secrets?" Pepper snapped, "How long have we known each other now?" She expected his usual answer in years, hours, minutes and seconds, she didn't get it and that worried her even more.

"Too long for you to fall for me lying to you" Tony sighed, "But this is personal, really personal and not just about me. I don't mind you being ashamed of me, I'm used to it, but I don't want you thinking any less of Steve."

Pepper screwed her eyes up, "Just tell me!"

Tony signed, "We had a fight, and it's my fault that he is laying in there dying!" His hands clenched inside the suit, needing to hit something so badly. To blow off a little of this restless steam and to try to forget the dark thoughts clouding his mind.

"What on earth could you two fight about that could cause this? You are being foolish Tony." She answered.

Tony looked into her eyes, full of pain and concern, "He told me he loved me."

Pepper blinked, and then took it in her stride, it wasn't the weirdest thing she had heard in her time working for Stark." Okay and you answered?"

"Nothing, that's the problem, Steve, he poured his heart out to me, he was stinking drunk and I just stood there making jokes about who he might have a crush on. Then he told me he loved me, but it was wrong for him to feel that way. I guess being gay was a big thing back in the 40's." Tony snapped, "And then I let him go, knowing he was in no state to drive! I should have pulled him off that bike, blown up the tires. SOMETHING other than just standing there like some cheap prom date." He punched his fist through a wall, causing the plaster to shatter and fall off in clumps. Not the mention the gaping hole he left behind. Leaving the nurses staring at him and muttering. "I will pay for that!" he said loudly.

"He will, just send the bill to Stark Tower" Pepper promised. When it all went still again, and the nurses had left she turned back on him. "Stop beating yourself up about this, you went after him. You dragged his body from the wreck site to get him help. If it wasn't for you he'd be bleeding out alone in the middle of nowhere. You gave him a chance to survive, a chance to live. Let's hope he takes it. You can't blame yourself, because if he was that jealous of watching you with all those woman at the party, he would have wrecked out whether you had argued or not, okay?"

Stark didn't answer, too full of guilt.

"Although I never took Steve for being gay, I guess you really can never tell." Pepper commented.

"I just feel so helpless." Tony complained, "If he was a machine I could fix him."

"This really has you wound up doesn't it?" Pepper asked, "Is this something I need to know?"

"I AM NOT GAY!" Tony exploded.

"I never said you were, I think you protest too much Mr Stark." She answered.

"Ms Potts, with the greatest respect you have no bloody idea what you are talking about." He snapped.

They were interrupted mid fight by Tasha coming over, she realised she was in the middle of something, but carried on anyway. "He's out of the operating room, and resting. He's not out of the woods yet, but they think he will be fine in time. He just needs sleep, they put him in some sort of medical coma to heal."

Stark sagged in relief, leaning against the wall half closing his eyes to hide the tears he was so close to shedding. "I need to see him." He said simply.

Pepper stopped him, "You are going nowhere until you go home, take off that suit, shower and get a few hours sleep. There's nothing you can do here, Steve won't wake up for a while yet and you've been up since before I left for DC. You need rest, you won't be any good to him if you pass out here and lose control of that suit. You can go home, and still be back here before he wakes up. He will never know you were gone."

"I will know, and that's what matters, I'm not going anywhere!" Tony snapped.

"Do I need to ask Banner to bring the other guy to drag you out?" Tasha asked, squaring up next to Pepper. Both stood there arms folded, taking no crap.

"FINE" he snapped, and blasted out of the hospital building. Minutes later he dropped back into the mansion allowing Jarvis to remove the suit. Wearily he headed to the bar and poured himself a stiff drink. He'd had more then enough earlier, and was still fairly unbalanced even after all the coffee, but he needed something right now anything to ground himself.

"Sir? Your exhaustion levels are extremely high." Jarvis commented.

"Shut it Jarvis, before I take you to pieces you piece of crap. You are all ganging up on me. I do not need looking after, I'm a grown man." Tony snapped downing the drink, and two more besides. He slammed himself down at his desk, flicking his shoes off, as he carried on drinking.

He replayed the argument over and over again in his mind, thinking about what he should have done to stop it. The thought of losing Steve was more painful then he had expected although he was unclear to exactly why or how the man had crawled into his heart so easily. He tried dissecting the reasons behind it, but didn't come up with anything logical to why. His head drooped and the glass tumbled from his hand onto the carpet.

"Sir?" Jarvis tried again.

"Yeah." Tony muttered sleepily.

"I detect that you are very close to falling asleep, and I suggest finding a more suitable place."

The computer gained no answer as Tony's eyes closed fully, and he fell into troubled dreaming.


	4. Chapter 4

Bitter Suite

Chapter Four

Authors Notes: Thank you so much for all the reviews, and that you to the two communities I have been added to. I am very excited to see how much this flick is taking off. Gonna take a break after this chapter and catch up on some of my other flicks, but you won't be without Steve and Tony for long I promise! If there is anything you would like in the story drop me a line and I will do by best to use it. And yes, you get a little steam this chapter before I leave you til next week

Andy: Lol yes I do usually have a thing for using song times as titles, cause seriously I SUCK at working out titles, but this one was taken from the episode of Xena with the same name.

Songs used in this chapter:

If you were gay: by Avenue Q

Do I have to say the words: by Bryan Adams

Stark's dreams started pretty normally for him: some fine wine, a dinner date with a lovely lady. They danced under a pale moon, on the beach barefoot. It was a truly perfect moment, everything he could have dreamt of. HE took in her long raven haired beauty, her pale white skin, so flawless glistening in the soft moonlight. Dressed in a black garment so tight it looked like it was spray painted onto her flesh, making him want to see exactly what was under it. A slow number started playing, and suddenly they were no longer alone on the beach. Several couples were dancing away as well. Softly, lovingly.

Someone tapped Stark on the shoulder lightly, "Steve!" he said with a smile."

"May I cut in?" he asked.

"Of course, anything for you." Tony answered, stepping away from the lady, "She is all yours."

"I want to dance with you, you fool." Steve said laughing, as he took Tony's hands and placed them on his hip and shoulder as the girl ran off annoyed. He rested his head lightly on Tony's shoulder as he allowed the other man to lead swirling him around on the dance floor.

"Oh don't they look so cute together."

"So adorable!"

"Two men, that's disgusting!"

Tony pulled away, but Steve wouldn't let him go anywhere. "Don't let an idiot ruin how you feel about me, about us. I'm not ashamed of our love, I don't think we have anything to hide. Do you?"

"Gods, no I love you with every piece of my heart, my Solider." Tony murmured.

"And I do you, my Man of Iron." Steve said, kissing Stark on the lips, so softly, so tenderly they almost weren't touching at all. His hand reaching down to rub the back of his hand over the front of Tony's jeans.

"Save it for later Soldier boy and you had better be wearing that suit." Tony said breathily, trying not to moan at his touch.

"So had you lover." Steve said, with a very suggestive wink, coming in for another kiss.

Tony woke up, drenched in sweat, still feeling the other man's touch on his lips. The salty taste of a man fresh in his mind. Under the desk his trousers were straining under the stiffness of himself. "Oh dear god!" Tony muttered. He slammed himself upright, and into the shower. Dropping his clothing all over the floor. "How can I be gay?" he thought as he scrubbed, "After all those woman, all these years? I'd have known before now? Surely?"

Tony scrubbed his skin hard enough to take off a few layers of skin, leaving himself very pink and sore, bleeding in a few spots. "How on earth at my age can I suddenly be gay!" he shook his head, "No it's not possible, it's just Pepper on my mind playing tricks with me." he decided as he towelled himself off.

At the back of his mind, a dark voice whispered, "Then why did you enjoy it so much? "He squashed the thought as quickly as it arrived, and draping a towel around his hips, Tony went to the Kitchen to find himself something to eat. Pepper was already in the kitchen making him a stack of pancakes, chatting on the phone to Coulson as she did so. With a strange and extremely unwanted song playing in the back ground.

_Well, okay, but just so you know —  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.  
BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)_

"What the hell is that?" Stark complained, grabbing a mug of coffee out of her hands.

"Nothing," Pepper answered with a smile, "A little hung over are we?"

"That's none of your business, Jarvis a song, anything else!" he snapped.

**Rescue me from the mire  
Whisper words of desire  
Rescue me, darling rescue me  
With your arms open wide  
Want you here by my side  
Come to me, darling rescue me  
When this world's closing in  
There's no need to pretend  
Set me free, darling rescue me, oh**

I don't want to let you go

**So I'm standing in your way  
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today**

Pepper giggled seeing his face change.

"Is this meant to be funny?" Stark demanded, "Jarvis off before you end up as a pile of scrap!"

"Just making sure that you understand that we really don't care about your being…."

"Don't say that, I am not! How many women have you found in my bed?" he demanded.

"Have you ever wondered if that is why you sleep with so many women?" she asked, "Deep down you can't admit the truth to yourself."

"What truth? That I'm some pervert that enjoys tail?"

"Why not?"

"Because it is wrong, it's disgusting, and I like breasts too much!"

"And you said that the 1940's were an era of misunderstanding. Didn't you say that Steve had nothing to hide or fear about telling people he is gay?" she demanded.

"That's different."

"And why is that?"

"Because that's not me!"

"So it's okay for him to dig guys, but not for you?"

"Enough Pepper, I'm not discussing this anymore."

"We are discussing this Mr Stark, until you give me a good answer why you can't be in love with him."

"That's it, just get a girl here, any girl and I will screw her in front of you. Then you will admit that I am not gay, and drop this." Tony exploded.

"Will you stoop kidding yourself and admit that you love him, and that's why all of this is driving you so crazy." She pushed.

"Get you, you are fired." Tony snapped.

"Oh, so you don't like what I say, so you are gonna fire the head of your company? The woman that knows every single detail of your life, and you can't even change your socks without?" Pepper demanded.

"My personal life is none of your business, get out before I put you out."

"Fine, but don't expect me to come back." Pepper said storming out.

"Jarvis lock all the doors, let no one in." Tony said softly.

"It has been done."

Alone finally, Tony wept for his friend, his life, and the emotions that he couldn't share nor express. The feelings that if he gave into them could make him eternally happy. But that wasn't him, he wasn't worthy of anyone caring for him. After all his own father never had. His guardian had tried to kill him for the company. And Pepper?

Well Pepper had fallen in love with another man, and left him all alone. Just like everyone else always did, his whole life. He wasn't worth saving, Tony knew that. In a lot of ways he wished that he had died back in Iraq when he was captured. He'd never been the same again ever since. He tried to be Tony Stark, the billionaire lady killer, but inside he was crying all the time. The only thing that made it easier was the drinking, and now and then using the Ironman suit for good.

"You might not be a threat, but you need to stop pretending that you are a hero." Steve's words came back to him all too clearly.

His heart was so heavy, so full of pain, so worried that he was going to lose the best thing in his life. He wanted no more then to crawl back into bed and lose a few days with a good woman and some fine wine. Forgetting these complicated feelings and wrongful emotions. He had a duty, more then that he wanted to be there for Steve so he had to be a little less selfish.

Wearily Tony headed to the hospital to sit on vidual at Steve's bedside. He relieved a dozing Coulson from his bedside. "Time to rest old man." Tony said kindly.

Coulson blinked a few times, trying to wake himself up yawning. "What time is it?" he asked.

Tony tried to focus on his watch face. "A little after seven I think?"

"At night"? Phil asked.

"Yeah must be, it's getting dark." Tony answered, "How long have you been here?"

"I think since about nine this morning." He answered, "Barton came to take a turn, but I didn't feel right leaving. Steve should be with family."

Tony nodded, taking a seat across from the agent. "This there any change yet?"

Phil shook his head, "They are struggling to keep him sedated given his abilities."

"Is he going to be okay?" Tony asked concerned.

"They think so, don't worry. He's healing remarkably fast, far better then they had hoped." The agent promised. Tony nodded tiredly, drinking his coffee, finally remembering to hand over the second cup to the other man, who drank it eagerly. "Pepper rang me, she was upset." Phil commented.

Tony sighed, "I shall have to grovel to her later on. She didn't deserve how I treated her."

Phil nodded, "It's hard to watch someone you love suffer, she knows that. She will forgive you, hasn't she always?"

Tony sighed, "Pepper Potts deserved a better boss then me."

"Just like Steven Rogers deserves a better boyfriend then you as well?" Phil asked.

Tony's breathe caught, "Is there no one that doesn't know about us?"

Phil shook his head, "We've been watching you two dance about each other for too long to not have noticed. I think Natasha is currently in the lead for guessing when you two will have your first kiss."

"I am not gay!" Tony muttered, "At least I don't think I am, but every time I think I might lose him. That I might not see him tomorrow, it terrifies me and I still don't quite understand why."

Phil shook his head, "Have you never been in love Tony? Hats exactly what it feels. Like you have lost everything when you are apart. That the only comfort you will ever know is in the other's arms."

"For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do." Tony admitted.

"When he wakes up, you tell him how you feel. You allow yourself to fall helplessly and deeply into love. You make him the happiest man alive, because you two sure as hell deserve some happiness in your lives." Coulson answered.

It was the longest speech that he had ever heard the man give in all the years he had known him. Tony didn't get a chance to answer, as Steve moaned in his sleep and his eyes fluttered open. Tony jumped to his feet, dropping the half-drunk coffee, to be at the side of the bed. "Take it easy, slow movements." He warned.

"TONY!" Steve exclaimed, his eyes fully open. Hand reaching out towards him, "Why are you here? What happened?"

Tony took his hand gently, "You had a little accident, but tis going to be okay. The doctors are happy with your recovery."

Steve was a little surprised, but gripped Tony's hand firmly. Comforted by the other man's touch, what he had longed for for so long. "Are we okay?" he asked, "I'm fuzzy, but didn't we argue?" He wasn't quite clear what it had been about, but he was pretty sure there had been harsh words spoken. He couldn't help but glance down at their joined hands once more.

Tony was almost relieved that he didn't remember the fight, at least it made things a bit easier now. Giving him time to think of a way to make it up to the other man. Steve's eyes were so confused, so needy, so beautiful, he could lose himself in them. The warmth of the other man's touch, distracting him far more then he could have thought possible. "We are fine, you get better okay"? Tony asked.

Steve smiled, "Okay, but talk after please?"

"I promise we can talk as much as you like, just sleep now for me." Tony said, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Okay, for you." Steve muttered sleepily, closing his eyes, the medications taking him back under in moments. He was still holding Tony's hand in almost a death grip. Too worried about waking him again to try to let go, or so he told himself. Tony dragged a chair closer and sat there holding hands with him. Only then did he realise that Coulson had politely slipped away to leave them some privacy. Sat here with the man he cared for, he wouldn't sat love, he couldn't. He felt more complete then he had in years.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors note: OKAY I GIVE IN! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, and inboxes demanding more chapters.

Thank you to the THREE communites now who are showcasing this story.

Thank you to all of the 1200 plus of you who have read this as well.

Please keep it coming, your reviews make me cry in a really good way.

PS A little steamier this chapter, enjoy.

Bitter Suite

Chapter Five

Coulson and Pepper walked into the room the next morning, carrying a tray of coffees and doughnuts for everyone. Followed closely behind by Tasha and Barton, with Banner bringing up the rear. "Oh my goodness." Pepper exclaimed at the sight they found.

Steve was rolled on his side, Tony was still sat on the chair, but slumped over onto the bed. One of Steve's hands wad curled in Tony's hair, the other snaking around his side. Tony's hand was laying lightly on Steve's hip, they looked so happy together, so adoreablely together in every sense of the word. Money exchanged hands behind her as debts were called in. Pepper smiled, "Its about damn time you two." she muttered, shooing the others out of the room to let them sleep in peace. Even the nurses were tiptoeing around trying not to wake the sleeping couple.

Sometime later Steve opened his eyes and saw who was half laying on the bed with him. Tears filled his eyes as he realised that Tony had stayed the night with him, keeping him protected. It was more then he had ever hoped for between them. Stroking Stark's hair, the other man moved in his sleep, a look of pure contentment on his face.

The fight came back to Steve's mind, and the reasons behind the crash as he woke up fully. He checked himself over, he was already mostly healed, sometimes his new body had its advantages. He knew that he was lucky to be alive, without the serum he certainly wouldn't have been.

Yes he was angry at Tony for the fight, how could he not be? The ache in his heart from the rejection unbearable, added with the growing confusion at the position they were both now in. Could it be that Tony really did care? Or was he just fooling himself into believing it? It was something he had wanted so very much, to have the other man so close to him. It set him on fire, he wanted to kiss Stark so very badly right now. To claim that stubble shaded mouth as his very own.

He must have moved slightly, and disturbed Tony as a few seconds later the other man's eyes opened and he blinked a few times trying to work out what was happening. He felt the hand resting on him and smiled happily, not lifting his head , enjoying the sensation. His back ached and he tried to pop it back into place. "I'm getting far too old for this." Tony muttered.

"You and me both, old man." Steve commented with a smile, stroking his hair.

Tony shot back from the bed, pulling his hand away when he realised that Steve was awake starting to panic. He blushed a deep scarlet, realising the very suggestive positioning they had just been in. Trying to stammer his way out of it. "I erm...I must have dozed off...erm... how do you feel?"

Steve saw his reaction and his heart sunk, maybe he had been wrong after all. Maybe he should tell a little white lie here to save them both a little of the pain? It went against the grain, but he would try to. "What happened, how did I get here?" he asked, Lord forgive my sin he thought.

"You don't remember anything?" Stark asked.

Steve shook his head, trying to look innocently. "I think I remember you being angry with me." he tried to edge around the subject tactfully.

"I could never be angry at you, I was a stupid, idiotic fool. I shouldn't have let you ride away from me, I knew that you would get hurt." Tony exploded, pacing the small room not able to stay still.

"It wasn't your fault Tony, it was mine. I should never have got on on that bike, I was in not condition to drive, please don't blame yourself" Steve begged.

"Of course I blame myself, it was my responsibility to make sure that you were safe! I should have said something to keep you there, not stood there while you poured your heart out." Tony answered, breaking off before he said too much and condemned them both.

Steve wrestled with his internal feelings and lost the battle to keep up the pretence. He gripped Tony's hand, and tried to pull him back to the bedside. "Tony, you saved me! You ripped me from the wreckage, you never gave up. That's the only important thing here. You told me that you were never going to let me go, and you didn't. You stayed with me, you were there when it mattered the most. At least if I had have died, I'd have been with the one person I wanted to be with the most when it happened." he was on his feet now, and out of the bed. Completely mindless of the boxer shorts and tee shirt he was dressed in.

Tony tried not to stare at the man's toned and half dressed form. "The thought of losing you, I didn't, I couldn't." his voice broke, tears fresh on his skin.

Steve couldn't bare to see his beloved in such a state, in two steps he'd pulled him into an embrace. Comforting him, stroking his back. "Its okay, I'm not going anywhere." Steve promised, "I won't leave you again."

Stark rested his head onto the other man's shoulder. This was a mistake, such a bad idea and he knew it. He should move away before he fell any further, but there was no where else he wanted to be right now. The warmth of Steve's body removing the chill from his skin. This was the happiest that he ahd felt in so very, very long. Hell he never thought he had ever felt as safe as he did right now. His eyes closed as Steve shhh'd him, rubbing Starks back as the tears fell. Tony tried to hold them back, but he couldn't, not anymore.

Steve wiped away his tears, "I'm not going anywhere ever, its you and me now, okay?" He brought Tony's face up to look him in the eyes. "Do you believe me?" he asked.

Tony looked back at the raw emotion in the other man's eyes and nodded slowly. Not trusting his speech right now.

Then Steve pushed things just that little bit too far. He reached up and brought Tony's lips to his in a soft passionate kiss. The other man froze for a moment then melted into the heat of it. The dream hadn't come anywhere close to the reality of feelings he was now experiencing. Steve darted his tongue into Tony's mouth, searching, tasting. Tony's met it in a heart beat, sinking deeper into the mans embrace, his arms locked around Steve's back. He had lost the ability to think, to know this was wrong. All he could do was feel, and enjoy it.

Steve slammed him firmly against the wall, a hand slipping under Tony's shirt to stroke his chest. Tony groaned at the light touch against his skin. Steve nibbled down Tony's neck, just hard enough to scratch the skin. His eyes closed in sheer bliss, giving himself over completely to Steve's control as his emotions rose. Steve egged on by Tony's soft sighs of pleasure, and the total trust of giving himself carried in kissing, tempting.

Until they were disturbed by a cough behind them. They sprung apart, to see a stern looking nurse stood there, glaring at them.

"I should go." Tony muttered, beat red.

"No don't, please." Steve begged.

Tony wouldn't, couldn't even look at him, he dived out of the door without looking back.

Steve went to go after him, but stopped realising he was only half dressed. "Damn it!" he muttered, "Where are my trousers?" he demanded off the nurse.

"You aren't going anywhere until you have been examined." She snapped, "Your boyfriend can wait."

"He's not my boyfriend, oh never mind." Steve said slinking down onto the bed. He'd been so damn close to sorting things out, and now Tony would close back down again and he'd never have another chance at breaking through that armour. He'd nearly had to die for this one shot. He closed his eyes, trying to blot out the pain in his aching soul.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors note: Thank you guys so much for keeping with me and all the reviews. I'm sorry I haven't had time to answer you all like I usually do. Rest assured that I do read and treasure every little comment you all make my day with them.

I am truly sorry, but there will be no more updates until next weekend for I now have to work six days straight But I promise to come back with one hell of a chapter!

Bitter

Chapter Six

Stark wasn't even out of the building before his phone was out of his pocket. He dialled Coulson, who picked up on the second ring. "Are you okay?" the younger man asked.

"Tell Fury I quit!" Tony snapped.

"Is this about you and...?"

Tony cut him off, "There is no me and him, there will never be a me and him. I don't have to give you a reason. I'm volatile, self obsessed and don't play well with others, remember? It's in my nature and my nature quits!" He cut the call off and shoved the phone back in his pocket.

Storming back into his house, and slamming the door behind him, Tony threw himself together a strong drink and collapsed on the sofa to enjoy it. He pulled out his phone again and saw more then a dozen missed calls from both Pepper and Coulson's numbers. As he was deleting them a text message came through:

"Are you okay? What happened? Please answer me, I'm getting frightened. Pepper."

Tony sighed and punched out a reply, "I'm sorry Pepper, you were right about everything. I am such a fool."

"RING ME!" she text back.

Tony turned the phone off, he couldn't bare to speak to even her right now. A second later every phone in his house started ringing. "Jarvis, lock the doors to any id that is not mine, and turn off all the phones." he commented.

"Sir I do not think that is a wise course of action." Jarvis spoke.

"Wise or not do it." Tony snapped, a headache starting to form already.

Two days passed by Stark while he was in a daze of drinking, sleeping and crying. Waking up and doing the same all over again. It was all he was good for, all that he had ever been any good for in his own eyes. He retreated right back into himself, not even answering when Jarvis spoke to him now and then. He'd go from curled up in a ball on the floor, to storming around the house smashing things, to shouting at thin air about how unfair life was.

He ended up in his lab staring at the broken wreck of Steve's motorbike, that he'd had dragged her just after the crash. He sunk to his knees looking at the tangled pieces of metal. Tony's sighed and drank heavily from the bottle of scotch he was carrying. Then he seemed to steel himself to the job at hand and stood. "Jarvis, some music."

ACDC: Back in Black started playing as he started work on fixing the bike. He didn't feel any better, not yet, nor did he stop drinking, but at least he had something to keep his hands busy and focus his mind at long last. Something to fill the aching caysam in his heart. Something that would make Steve happy, he was starting to understand that if Steve was happy, then he would be happy as well.

Steve wasn't doing any better then Stark was emotionally. He'd finally finished all of the examinations the nurse had subjected him to painfully slowly. Like she was enjoying torturing him by keeping him here and away from those he needed so badly to be touching right now.

Finally she discharged him and allowed him his clothing back, he'd been so vulnerable in his underwear for the last five hours. He rang Tony a dozen times as he walked out of the building, with no answer. "Shit!" he muttered, he flagged down a taxi and headed to Tony's house as fast as he could.

His heart breaking, he hammered on the door trying to get an answer. Still nothing, so he tried phoning again. He nearly crushed the phone in his annoyance. "Damn you Tony, Don't shut me out. Not now, not when we are so damn close to being happy." he shouted. Steve kept battering at the door, trying to break it down. He knew that Tony was just the other side, he could hear things being throw around and smashed.

"Tony, let me in please!" he shouted, battering at the door again. The door was just too strong even for him to break. He noticed the keypad by the door, and looked at it in confusion. This modern world made no sense to him what so ever. He was so very close to giving up with it all. Seventy years was a very long time to try and make up for.

Hell, he could barely even work the remote for the television, or work out how to use the dimmer switches in the apartment. He was used to being so independent, so good at doing things for himself and now he had to resort to asking people how to do the simplest things. It drove him crazy all of the time! He pressed the buttons randomly trying to work out how it worked, he figured there had to be a code, but there could be millions of combinations.

After a few minutes Jarvis got tired of watching him trying to break in and spoke. "Mr Rogers I regret to inform you that Mr Stark will see no visitors at the current time."

"Let me in damn you!" Steve sobbed, "I have to see him."

"I cannot Mr Rogers, I am sworn to obey my programming, and my master says I am not permitted to unlock the door." Jarvis answered.

Steve punched his fist through the wall, ending up bruising his hand more then he damaged the building. Muttering a series of curse words under his breath he would be ashamed if anyone found out that he knew or had used. He liked to be the perfect gentleman at all times, but sometimes were harder then others. Today was very clearly going to be one of those days.

"Mr Rogers, there is one person who can over write my protocols and open the door." Jarvis commented.

Steve's head shot up, "Just tell me what to do."

Out of respect for Stark, Pepper made Steve agree to give him a few days before he blasted in with SHIELD behind of him. Steve hadn't been happy about the arrangement, but there was little else he could do bar follow orders just like he always did.

He spent most of the time in his apartment reading, and at least books were still made of paper and looked like he remembered. Someone had brought him this black plastic thing, that they had said was a book, but he had left it untouched as he went through the shelves he had been given. It didn't stop his heart bleeding for Stark every minute of every day. Nor did it stop him drinking himself to sleep at night. The tears never stopping from falling down his face. Needing to see and touch Stark again so badly, to sort all of this out once and for all. The memory of that stolen kiss, Tony almost admitting his feelings played over and over again in his mind.

"Damn you Stark, and damn me too!" he muttered, hating himself for all the pain he had caused them both. "I should never have told you the truth, never have brought all this pain on us. Never have broken both of our hearts." He despaired in that room, the dark hand of depression laying heavy on his heart and mind. He wanted so much not to feel, not to hurt anymore. To just be free from all this death! He laid his head on his hands and sobbed.

Coulson and Pepper had had enough now, a whole week had passed and nether of the two men would leave their homes, or speak to anyone. Both had quit the Avengers, and both were sulking like little children. So now the grownups were going to go and fix it all.

Coulson unlocked the door, using his overriding code. He felt a little guilty, but they were so worried about Tony what else could they do?

"Welcome Agent Coulson, Ms Potts." Jarvis said opening the door the second the code was punched in. "I have been expecting your presence."

"What happened here?" Pepper exclaimed, looking around at the smashed furniture and empty bottles of scotch everywhere. Tony seemed to have smashed up the whole house, as they moved from room to room looking for him.

"Love makes you crazy." Coulson commented.

"Correction, love makes **TONY **crazy," she said wryly.

Coulson nodded, and they quietly made their way downstairs to the lab to see if Stark was hiding down there. They unlocked the door and edged inside solely, around the chaos of wreckage. Work benches kicked over, tools scattered everywhere. Only one thing in the room was kept beautifully intact and clean. A motorbike, which had clearly only just been restored, the paint still looked tacky and the room smelt of fresh paint. The bodywork of the machine carefully re-sprayed in red/white and blue, with the Captain's shield designed painted on the engine. It had clearly been a labour of love that had taken a long time.

"Is that Steve's bike?" Pepper asked.

Coulson nodded, "He must have fixed it, last time I saw it before they took it away. Well there wasn't anything left but charred and twisted metal."

"Why would he spend a week holed up in here doing this?" she commented.

"Perhaps he doesn't know how else to express himself." Coulson suggested.

The made sense, he'd never been very good with the use of emotions or expressing them. Pepper spun around hearing a faint noise behind her. She worked her way through the smashed lab until she found Tony curled up on the floor in tears. Tony didn't cry often, in fact Pepper had perhaps known him cry half a dozen times in his whole life. The last time at his father's funeral, after that he had tried to be as emotionless as possible.

Pepper hugged the broken man to her, shhing him like he was a small child. "It's okay Tony, don't cry. It's all going to work out fine, I promise."

Coulson stood nearby trying not to look useless or embarrassed at the man's total breakdown. It was a hard time to know what to say or do. In the end he settled for fetching a blanket, and some tissues. Settling the blanket over him tenderly trying to stop the violent shaking. "Let's get you somewhere warmer and more comfortable shall we?" he offered softly.

"I will be fine thank you." Tony murmured, starting to collect himself once again. Pulling his emotionless mask back on as best he could, crushing back down the emotions that were threatening to destroy him. Just like he always did, and always would.

"Come on Tony, you can't cry all over me, and then brush us off like nothing ever happened. Talk to me, to us, let us help you." Pepper begged.

"Yes, actually I can. You should never have forced your way into my home. So get out both of you!" Stark snapped.

"Mr Stark, you are being unreasonable. We have all been worried about you and Steve most of any of us." Coulson said.

"Don't you dare say his name to me." Tony snapped.

"He loves you, the fool and you are an even bigger one!" Pepper snapped, she pulled out her ID card and threw it at him. "I quit, I'm not watching you ruin your life again."

"You can't quit, I already fired you last week." Tony commented.

"You arsehole!" Pepper said, running off crying.

Coulson watched her leave and glowered at Stark. "I told you to love him, to let yourself care for someone for once. And what did you do? Push away the only people who care about you. One day you will push them too far and they won't keep on forgiving you."

"Maybe I don't want their forgiveness!"

"It's about time that you forgive yourself whatever this thing you have is that makes you feel so unworthy of life and happiness." Coulson stated.

Tony sighed looking at the ground, "He is better off without me, I'd only break his heart and screw things up just like I always do."

"Pepper is right, you are an idiot. Do you think Steve isn't hurting right now? HE's been locked away in his home for as long as you have. Do you know that he quit SHIELD too? The he won't speak to anyone? That he's been drunk more then he's been sober since the accident? That he came to me, so drunk he could hardly stand, to beg me to override the lock and tell him if you were even still alive?" Coulson asked, "If you were dead, do you really think that he would survive much longer without you? That your stupid mistake could cost his life as well as yours? Think about it while there are still a few people who care." He followed Pepper out of the house, and relocked the doors behind him.

Tony shook his head, and sat down on the bike. Stroking the fresh paintwork tenderly, "Oh Steve, what have I done to you again?"


	7. Chapter 7

The Bitter Suite

Chapter Seven

Authors notes: Sorry for the long time between updates, like I said on chapter 6 working really long hours at the moment. I work in a school wear shop so July and august are my busy times and I have not been very well.

PLEASE don't stake me for the ending, I promise chapter 8 is almost ready!

Steve had fallen asleep, his head stuck in some book about science, the third bottle of whisky having finally lulled him into a light slumber. It took a lot to get him drunk since the operation, but it was just about possible if he tried hard enough and the drink was strong enough. Usually left him with Absolut vodka or scotch, and he wasn't fond of either, but needs must.

He dreamed of Peggy and of Bucky and of Howard and everyone he had left behind. The life he had lost, the life which still haunted him. The battles that he could never forget. He'd never been a soldier, just an experiment gone slightly wrong, they hadn't bothered training him, giving him the tools he needed to keep his head. Hell it had been war time, no one had had any real training, just this is a gun go shoot it. He didn't know how to cope, how to survive in war. He was a good man, and a fine soldier, but he was a broken human being.

He saw the plain crashing yet again in his nightmares, felt the chilling touch of the icy cold water surrounding his body as the ship sunk further into the ice plains. That was where the serum had been a disadvantage, it had kept him alive longer then it would have any other human being. He'd been aware of his body shutting down, of slowly drowning as the water filled his lungs, and although he'd never admit it he had been terrified. His eyes had fluttered closed as exposure was shutting down his vital functions, he tried to think of Peggy. To have one pleasant memory to fill his mind, as he died.

Steve shot upright screaming, covered in sweat from his nightmares. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the present. Trying to relax his thoughts, to bring back the icy calm that was his usual slightly fake persona. It was a fruitless task, he had lost the 'Zen' part of himself when he had lost Tony. The nightmares clawing at him worse then ever before, battering down what few defences he ahd left against the rising panic in his soul.

Taking another long swig from the whisky bottle, he stood up and dressed. Heading to the gym to try and work out some of his anger, some of this insanity lodged in his brain. With or without another couple of bottles added in to put him back to sleep. Whatever worked, he was almost ready to start the pills and drink cocktail he saw Tony down pretty much all the time, it certainly seemed to work for him.

As the third punching bag smashed, Steve sank to the ground shaking, the tears coming yet again, two empty bottles of whisky on the floor near his bag. Five bottles? That must have been one of his worse binges so far he noted somewhere in the part of his mind that was actually concerned about his actions. Very small though that it was, the rest of his mind couldn't care less anymore as long as he survived. He was Captain America after all, he had to live on!

He knew that he was sick, he had shell shock or PTSS or whatever the hell it was called now. The slightest thing bringing back dark thoughts and memories. The cold, hearing running water, washing his hair or whenever he was underwater, hell even being on a plane again. They were all triggers that made him want to crawl under is bed and die, but he fought on as best he could. Even in this strange new world, for it was his duty to do so. Duty was all he had left now, orders, just following orders that he could do.

Now without even that small comfort to hide behind he was so very lost and afraid. Steve didn't know what to do with himself. He certainly didn't know enough about this modern world to even attempt to gain a job nor live a normal life. All he wanted to do was to go home, back to where things made sense again. He knew that it could never happen, he could only go forward not back.

So he had tried to be good, tried to be strong, and then Tony had walked away from him, and he'd lost the will to fight on. Letting himself dip back into the depression he had tried so hard to escape from. Wondering if there was a way to finish things even with his regenerative powers?

Then as he was trying to work out a way that his body couldn't heal away in time, he heard a strange noise through the window. Looking down just in time too see Ironman land and drop his bike outside of the gym before flying away again. Captain belted down the stairs, flying out of the door to look at the bike.

It had been beautifully restored, rebuilt and painted up to match his suit in red, white and blue. Steve smiled for the first time in weeks as he ran his fingers over the paintwork. Picking up the note which only said one word, but it was all he needed to here. "Sorry." Was scrawled on the page in shaky hand writing, and an arrow pointed to the saddle bags on the back of the machine. Steve reached inside and pulled out a battered old notebook. He opened it in confusion and smiled at the contents, Tony had worked really hard on this. He was trying so hard to make things right, and suddenly the world seemed a much brighter place again. Steve stashed the book away to explore in detail later and took the bike for a test drive.

(* * *)

Tony gave the bike one last layer of lacquer to try and stop the paint from getting scratched. He looked it over with a critical eye to see if he had missed anything, he hoped not. He'd ruined Steve's bike, and now he would try and fix it as best he knew how. He knew damn well that that bike was the only thing that gave the man any pleasure in this strange new world. He'd even had Jarvis make up some leather saddlebags for it. He placed them on the back carefully, tying them tightly to the bodywork so they couldn't slip off. He'd even had the man's name written on it small script.

Tony pulled out the leather bound scrap book his father had kept about Steve Rogers, it was full of press cuttings, photographs, and even a diary of sorts of how Howard had searched for Steve. It was everything Howard Stark had ever found out about the Captain and all the experiments. The reason why he had never been there as a father, Tony had nearly destroyed the book a thousand times, hating his father for always picking Steve over him. Always telling him that he needed to be more like Steve!

He slipped it into the saddlebag with a small sigh of regret, perhaps it would help the man to survive his future if he could understand his past a little better. Tony had been over everything in that book constantly for the last week. Staring at that perfect face, trying to understand the exact nature of his feelings towards the blonde. He was lost, he knew that much. Every time those pale blue eyes looked at him, he melted. When they were apart he longed for them to be closer. When they were together he never wanted the moment to end. And that kiss?

He touched his lips faintly, remembering how it had felt. For that moment Tony hadn't cared if he was straight, gay or a fricking alien. That man was one hell of a kisser! Thank god they had been interrupted or who knew where that kiss would have led! More then likely to something the tabloids would have found most interesting. Or had he wanted it to turn into something more?

Tony sighed, he's head hurt and it wasn't just from the whisky. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he knew that he would rather ruin his own useless life then hurt Rogers. He swore it to himself there and then that Captain Steve Rogers had been through more then enough already for twenty lives, and he would cause him no further pain. He would walk away, be the bigger man and take the soul destroying pain all alone.

Before Tony went, he had some unfinished business, and for that he needed the

Suit. He swore at Jarvis to help him put it on over and over again, constantly ignored.

"Sir, you are more then double the legal limit of alcohol in your blood stream. I strongly advise that you change your mind about this venture." Jarvis commented as he refused for the millionth time.

"Jarvis, do I really need to start threatening you again?" tony asked, "Or can we just skip to where you give up fighting and actually bother doing what you were programmed to do? Do I need to build myself a fresh computer that actually obeys my commands?"

"Yes you do Sir," Jarvis stated flatly, "For you would have to be alive long enough to see the completion of its building and programming."

"Shut it wise ass!" Tony said still struggling drunkenly with the suit.

The silence was heavy between them for long moments, before Jarvis spoke again. "I will help you." He said softly, fitting the suit together carefully around his creator.

"Thank you." Tony said quietly as the machine fitted his helmet in place.

"Sir?" Jarvis asked.

"What now?" Tony asked, checking the suit was firing up as it should do.

"I would miss you sir, should you….." the computer stated.

Stark softened, and stroked one of the panels on the wall nearby to comfort the computer. "Thank you Jarvis." He answered, he'd built the damn thing too damn smart, too damn emotional.

"You are so very welcome sir."

Stark arrived outside of the gym, he knew Rogers used so often. Dropping the bike down softly and starting it up to make sure it worked right. He heard a noise from upstairs and saw Steve looking out of the window at him. The boy looked terrible, sunken hollow face, eyes red from crying, and slim far too slim like he hadn't had a good meal in far too long. Even so, just seeing him for a moment was enough to leave Stark feeling warm and fuzzy inside. He wanted to run up those stairs and kiss him like he'd never been kissed before. The head left the window, and he knew that Steve would be moments running down the stairs before they were together. Tony couldn't face him, if he did, if they touched one more time. Hell if Steve even looked at him in the wrong way, Tony would be lost forever. He'd never be able to do what he had to do, so save Steve anymore pain. He shot up in the sky, far enough that he couldn't be seen and watched as Steve explored the bike.

The captain found the book after a few moments and flicked through the pages. His face lit up at the sight of a photo of him and Howard together. Tony smiled, he had done the right thing for the first time in his life. He'd made the other man so happy, in a few moments. He looked different, so different in the way he held himself, the way he stood. There was a confidence there that he'd been missing for a long time, far too long.

Tony ended up at the crash site, peeling his suit off and returning it to the travel case. He walked across to the edge of the cliff, looking down at the ruined blackened earth below. He saw a tattered piece of Steve's jacket hanging loosely on a branch half way down. Saw the blood splattered on the rocks below. His mind went back to the crash, Steve's cries as he had tried to pull him free.

Tony closed his eyes trying to blot out the memory, expunge it from his mind. He certainly needed another drink, or maybe another dozen to try and recover from the images in his head. He hadn't quite decided exactly on his means of death. It was more then likely going to be a mixture of drugs and drink, something painless, stress free and easy. Tony wasn't a big fan of pain, not since he was tortured. He couldn't image cutting himself, or shooting himself in the head. Too much mess, he knew he could be a diva, but he for once didn't want any attention. He'd even thought about removing the arc reactor and letting the metal hit is heart, but again too painful.

It would be so simple, so easy to just take those extra few steps. To end up smashed to pieces on the same rocks which had nearly taken Steve from him. It was almost poetic in a sick and twisted way. Like a dark Romeo and Juliet, with blood and rocks instead of poison and daggers. And hopefully without Steve taking the high jump as well. It was all for nothing if he did, and Tony wasn't about the unneeded sacrifice play.

Tony edged up to the foot of the cliff, and took a deep breath. He had to remember he was doing this for Steve, not himself. He needed to be less selfish, he couldn't hurt that sweet and gentle soul. This was the only answer he had left to him, as much as he hated the thought of it. He was tired, tired of living, of suffering, of pain, of loss. He'd always been useless in life, maybe in death he would be remembered more fondly.

He dangled one leg over the edge of the cliff, trying it out like a normal person would try out a new suit. Then with a smiled and a final thought to the beloved man he was leaving behind Tony jumped.

"TONY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he thought he heard Steve screaming, but it couldn't be, he was miles away….Wasn't he?


	8. Chapter 8

**Bitter Suite**

**Chapter Eight**

**Author's note: WOW that killer ending went down well! I've been sat here LOVING the reviews and wondering when I upload this chapter. I made sure that 8 was nearly done as soon as seven hit. I'm glad to see how much you guys enjoyed it with me. I was nearly in tears writing it. Sorry this is a short chapter, but I wanted to leave you guys on another good ending. More soon xxxx**

Steve enjoyed the fresh air as he bombed along the road on his newly fixed bike. It was the first time he'd felt truly free, truly happy since the kiss. He wanted to thank Tony for the touching gift, both of them. Hopefully now Tony was finally willing to talk to him and sort this out. Steve headed towards Starks home, slowing down drastically when he reached the tight bend that he had nearly lost his life to a few weeks beforehand. He didn't want to make the same mistake twice.

As he took the curve, he saw a figure standing at the edge of the cliff. It chilled him to his bones when he realised exactly who it was. He was off the bike before it had even stopped completely, the bike slid along the ground already scratching the fresh paintwork. "Tony NOOOOOOO!" he shouted as the man put one foot over the edge. Steve run as fast as he super powered body would allow him to, but it was too late, Tony had already jumped.

He threw himself to the ground and just managed to grab Tony's arm in time to stop him from crashing to the ground far below. They hung there for a few moments, until Steve managed to pull Stark up and drag him to the solid ground. Tony lay there winded, not saying anything just staring straight at the other guy.

The Captain's emotions were working on overdrive now, "What the hall are you doing Tony?" he demanded, "Is this all some sort of sick joke? You just turn up after weeks of nothing, give me two of the sweetest and most touching gifts I have ever been given. Making me think about how much you care for me, and then a second later you try to kill yourself! And here of all places!"

Tony sighed, "This wasn't about you, it was about me, my own choice."

"And what about you is so god damn bad that you need to say goodbye to me, and then die!" Steve snapped.

"That's none of your business." Tony answered.

Steve shook his head, "You really are an arsehole Tony, you need to grow the hell up and start thinking of others before yourself." He stood the bike back up, fussing over the slight scratches. "You know what Tony? You want to kill yourself then fine, feel free. Just don't expect me to stand here and watch you do it."

Tony reached out a hand to him, but he still couldn't quite bring himself to say the words he needed to. "As you wish, Steve." he said softly.

"I don't believe you Stark." Captain answered, "You really do have no heart anywhere inside of you at all, just a blackened husk where it used to be."

"God damn you Steven Rogers, if I had no heart then why would I be trying to save you from being hurt?" Tony exploded.

"Oh and killing yourself is really not going to hurt me?" Steve snapped back, "Taking away the one and only thing that I actually care about in this screwed up insane modern world."

"You love me, I can't say the same thing back. I don't think I actually can love anymore. Hell Pepper certainly said as much and I had thought that I was completely in love with her. I can't say I don't care about you, because I do a hell of a lot, more then I dare admit even to myself. When I saw you, when I thought you were dead, I thought I had died as well. I've done things, seen things that aren't in my file. Because I hacked in and took them out, I don't want people to know. I'm a broken man Steve, I'm not fit to be alive. I just blindly carry on in my father's footsteps, drinking my way through this hellish world." Tony answered, "Just trying to escape the pain."

Steve looked at him for a long silent moment processing what Tony had said. "You've got shellshock haven't you?" he asked more calmly.

Tony's eyes went wild, "That's none of your concern, my problems are my own to deal with."

"Not when they effect us they aren't." Steve commented, "It all makes sense now, the drinking, the self destructive tendencies, the false bravado, all of you. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner, I saw so many good men suffering back in the war."

"You have no idea what you are talking about!" Tony snapped, "You are the one with shell shock. Nothing wrong with me that a good bottle of scotch can't fix."

"Oh that's right, go and get drunk again Stark, cause that always just makes everything better. Walking your way through your life in a drunken haze, its easier then admitting that you actually care about something or someone." Steve snapped.

Tony squared up to him, "Don't you dare judge me you know nothing about me."

Steve threw his arms open, "Well I'm here, you are here, so damn well tell me then. You haven't got anything else to do, I'm sure your date with death can wait another hour."

Tony glared at the man and shook his head, "Its my problem to deal with not yours."

"Tony for Christ sake let me in, just this once let someone else help you." Steve begged.

"I can't!" Tony said softly, eyes on the floor, "I don't know how anymore."

Steve reached for his hand, "Then let me show you please."

"Leave me alone." Tony said, pulling away, "I don't need you I don't need anyone."

"Yeah just keep telling yourself that and one day you might actually start to believe it." he answered.

The next thing they knew they were being fogged with some sort of gas, and then Tony felt something heavy connect with the base of his skull, a flash of something big and green moving past. He blacked out, slumping to the ground. Steve caught him,, trying to keep him safe staring around to see what was attacking them. Seconds later he was struck from behind as well, and collapsed.

Fury stood over their bodies as the fog cleared, looking at Clint Barton, Natasha Romanof and the Hulk standing there. "Take them away where they can't hurt anyone else." he ordered.


	9. Chapter 9

Bitter Suite

Chapter 9

Authors note: sorry for the delay, silly season at work. Will update when I can. Glad to see my cliff hanger endings are still interesting people smiles evilly. For all those asking when the smut is coming, coughs *11*is all I'm gonna say.

Tony woke up his head banging, throat dry, he tried to sit up to find some water, but he was too unsteady on his feet. That must have been one hell of a night out he thought absently to leave him like this. He wondered how many bars he had drunk dry, or how many women he'd slept with. For once the thought chilled him to the bone that he couldn't remember what had happened. Normally he wouldn't care less, just drink, fuck and move on. Now though he had to think of the person he was hurting every time he did it. And as soon as he thought of him, he suddenly found his taste for women and wine vanishing into nothingness.

His head in his hands, Tony tried to decide if he needed to throw up now, later or both? He groaned knowing the bile was coming fast, and not sure if he had the strength to crawl up off the bed to deal with it. He groaned no he couldn't stop it, tried to roll onto his side so at least he wasn't puking on the bed sheets. He had done some shit in his life, but laying in his own puke was not something he wanted to do again!

Then warm arms were wrapped around him, comforting him and a bowl shoved in his hands just in time, as he started losing all he ahd eaten for days. Fingers rubbing his back, a soft voice in his ear shhing him. It felt so damn good that he wasn't alone right now, he knew the voice, and it made him feel safe, protected, he just couldn't quite put a name or a face to the voice. His head felt all over the place, he was sure something was wrong with him. His head shouldn't feel like this after a few drinks, this had to be something more.

The bowl taken away when he was finished with it, someone then helped him to the bathroom to let him rinse his mouth out and wash his face. Then they put him back to bed, pulling them onto their chest to sleep some more. Tony realised groggily that the chest he was leaning on was a man's and a very well toned mans chest at that. He should be disturbed at that thought, but it was nothing short of perfect as he snuggled down onto him. The guy smelt so very good, breathing in the soft muskiness of his skin, this was someone very special to him, it had to be and so he trusted them to do what was needed. Then he slipped back down into a deep slumber leaving Steve to take care of him.

When he woke up again it was to hear Steve bustling around on the other side of the room. Tony sat up rubbing is sore head, looking around. The other side of his double bed was made neatly, no sign that the other man had slept there. Tony respected him for that little motion, just a tiny thing to anyone else, but he knew how much it would mean to Tony if he didn't push him. Frankly he was touched that the man even cared enough to look after him after everything that they ahd gone through the night before.

Tony looked down and realised that his clothing had been changed, he was now in nothing but boxer shorts and his favourite black Sabbath tee shirt, almost like someone had known how much it would calm him to be wearing it. He took in his surroundings, two double beds; a storage unit for a few items of clothing, a sofa and an arm chair protecting a small TV and DVD collection next to a small kitchenette were Steve was currently cooking.

A door across from him must lead into a bathroom. The one behind him was clearly the way out, and the on Stark was more interested in right now. Steve noticing he was awake now slammed a tray of bacon, eggs and toast in front of him so hard the liquid in the coffee cup on the tray shook and spilled. "Eat!" he snapped.

"Where are we?" Tony asked, "What the hell hit us?"

"The Hulk did!" Steve said bitterly, "It cracked your skull, you were in the hospital a week before they moved you in here with me." He threw a note at him, "That explains it all."

"Cracked skull?" Tony asked, "Surprised anything could crack my thick skull." He picked up the note, "Where did my clothes go?"

Steve at least ahd the good graces to blush there, "You were sick a few times, I didn't want to leave you dressed like it."

Tony looked a little surprised at his words, "Erm, thank you." he stuttered. He flicked open the note:

_Steve/Tony _(it started)

_You two have both allowed your personal emotional states to compromise the mission. You are a threat to yourselves and to the team. Your fragile emotions are making you too dangerous to allow free reign. Your gifts if you were to go dark side of the moon could be catastrophic to the team and to the Earth as well. I can not allow this to happen._

_Henceforth I confine Anthony Stark and Steven Rogers to solitary confinement, until such a time as I feel it is safe to return them to the general population. All your needs can and will be catered for from your new apartment_

_Nick Fury._

Tony slammed it down on the table and looked the second piece of paper which had messages from the team on:

_Get comfortable boys, you aren't going anywhere for a while: Tasha._

_You two are stuck there until you talk, punch, scream, shout, kiss or fuck out whatever is wrong with you. Remember I always see better from a distance. Hawk._

_Find your inner calm together, it is the only way. Banner._

_LET YOURSELF FALL IN LOVE TONY! Steve Rogers, you know you are the man for the job, good luck. Phil._

_Tony I swear to god if you fuck this up I'm gonna knock you upside of your head until you see sense. Pepper. PS blows a kiss to Steve._

_I will send pop tarts by the crateful, feel better warriors." Thor._

And scribbled on the bottom in green ink was one small line: _"Just kill each other already!" Loki._

Tony threw the paper on the table, and strode to the door silently trying to work out how to open it. He was disappointed to be met by a normal Yale lock with no key, and no computer interface that he could hack. He punched his fist into the door in frustration, he was a genius, and he needed something to work with!

"It's reinforced steel Tony, I can't even punch through it. I tried a lot of times, barely made a scratch on it." Steve commented.

Tony examined bloody dents in the door, he certainly had tried hard to get out and by the bandages on his hands had done himself some harm trying to do it as well. Next port of call was the windows, toughened safety glass. He wasn't getting through that either, not with the tools he had here. He crossed to check out the other door, which led to a small corridor with two doors leading off of it. One leading to a small gym, and the other to a lavish bathroom with a massive corner spa bath, and shower you could fit a Hulk in.

Tony checked the windows for any weaknesses in turn, while Steve watched him. "There's no way out Tony, I promise you that I tried everything."

"I can't accept that, not being trapped in here with you." Stark commented.

Steve looked like he'd been slapped in the face, "Yeah cause sharing a house with me would be so fucking terrible!" He slammed into the gym, and started to destroy punching bags.

Tony sighed, "I didn't mean it like that." He wandered back to the main room and grudgingly ate his breakfast and fell back into bed to try and sleep off the pounding headache he still had.

(**********)

Steve punched the hell out of countless punch bags. Each one pulled through the ceiling and replaced as he burst it. He knew that while he slept the sand on the ground would be cleared away. Two weeks now he had been in that small apartment. The first week had been spent pacing the floor away trying to find a way out of it, fretting half to death over Tony's condition. The second week had solely been spent taking care of the half healed Stark, worried if he would get better or not. He would have been devastated if the guy had quit and died on him, when they had been through so much already.

He still did not know how to accept the fact that Tony wanted to die, or how to cope with the fact that Tony still spurned him over and over again. He loved the man so very much, more then he had ever loved anyone before, and more then he thought he would ever love anyone again. Sometimes though, love wasn't enough and right now he didn't think that it ever could be enough. He worked out for hours cursing the playboy's name as he did so. "Selfish, self-centred, spiteful, foul tempered, pig ignorant, childish, thick headed, stupid, immature bastard!" he snapped, "I wish I had never met you, I wish I had never fallen in love with you. I wish I had never woken up here in this hellish life. I wish I could go home!" Punching the bag at every word, it was actually helping him to calm down a little. De stressing everything which had been worrying him lately.

What he didn't know was Tony was stood right behind him listening to every word he said. He'd come to try and make things right, but now having heard that he just turned on his heel and silently left the room, tears in his eyes. He wanted to fix things, but he just didn't know how and after what he had just heard all he wanted was a way out of this place as fast as possible. He couldn't stay here knowing how much the Captain hated him. How much it hurt the other guy for him to be there.

Stark explored the kitchen and found the bar pretty easily, he was surprised at how well stocked it was. Taking a bottle of scotch he retreated to his bed and started drinking. It was about the only thing that was going to make this torment bearable. He felt lost without his computer, phone or Jarvis. A man laid bare, small and alone. Steve still had his powers, Tony had nothing but his mind left now.

Fetching a blank notebook from the desk, he started to write out a list of upgrades for the suit while he drank. Something just to keep his mind active, or try to. It was comforting, almost homely for him to draw the designs out. He dreaded the interconnecting door opening and Rogers walking back inside. There was no way of escaping each other in here, Fury had made sure of that when he designed it. He had to find a way out of here soon, before it drove them both insane. Tony leaned back into the pillows thinking, his eyes growing heavy from the drink and his long illness. The glass slipping through his fingers to the floor as he slumped down onto the bed deeply asleep.

(*****)

Across from them, in an apartment across the street, Hawkeye stood at the window watching what was happening. Coulson and Pepper walked in with a tray of coffee, waking Tasha up gently from where she was sleeping on the sofa. She snapped upright taking the coffee she was offered.

"Anything?" Pepper asked.

"Steve's destroying the gym, Starks passed out cold on whisky." Hawkeye commented.

"Sounds about right for Tony!" Pepper commented dryly.

"Why on earth did you give them whisky?" Coulson asked, "You know what Stark is like drunk?"

"What?" Pepper asked, "Horny as hell? Yeah kinda the idea big guy!"

Natasha pulled the white board out from under the sofa and set it up on the side. "Shall we start the bidding?" she asked, with a faint smile.

As everyone started shouting and bombarding her with dollar bills.


	10. Chapter 10

Bitter suite

Chapter Ten.

**Author's note, so glad that you guys and girls are still enjoying this as much as I am. There's a little bit of steam in this chapter, so look out for it :) Hono, I specialise in making people cry, who don't normally do so, trust me.**

Steve slammed into the shower after his workout, turning up the heat as high as it would go to try and drown out the feelings of anger still twisting his stomach into knots. The hot soapy water unlocking the tight muscles in his back and shoulders. He sighed as he started to relax finally. He knew that he'd been completely unfair to Tony when he ahd been so snappy with him. He'd been so worried that he wouldn't pull through during his illness. Fretting so much about his suicidal tendencies and how to stop them. How to give him something to cling onto without pushing him away. Wondering how on earth they were going to get through all of this.

He wished that things were simpler, that they were just free to be in love with each other. But that just wasn't Tony Stark's style, he ahd to do everything the hard way or he didn't trust it. Steve couldn't change that part of the other's personality no matter how much he wanted to. All the solider wanted to do, was wrap his arms around Tony and keep him safe for the rest of time. If only Tony would actually allow him to do it. Hot tears merged with the scented water, his body shaking as he fell to his knees. crying with frustration. Why could Tony just not understand how much he cared for him!

Steve eventually climbed out of the shower, towelled himself and dried his tears. Pulling on his red/white and blue robe, he gingerly walked into the other room expecting another fight. To Tony passed out on the bed, his glass spilling on the floor. He sighed, "Why Tony? Why do you do this to yourself?" He picked up the glass, wiping up the spillage and returned the bottle to the shelf.

He watched Tony sleeping for a few moments, caught half way between hitting him, or taking care of him. Steve's softer side won out. He took the notepad from Tony's limp fingers, taking a glance over the technical drawings. Somewhere clearly upgrades for the suit. AS he shuffled the papers he found a detailed drawing of his bike and more upgrades for that he had planned. A tear fell onto the page, smudging it slightly. So this was the only way that Stark could show him how much he cared, well it would have to be enough for now then. Steve put the book on the night stand, and gently rolled Tony under the blankets. He kissed the other man's forehead goodnight and fell into bed himself.

(******)

Next morning Tony woke up to a tray on the side of his bed placed with coffee, painkillers and breakfast under a warmer plate. Waiting next to his notebook, and pens. Steve was already exercising in the next room giving him some privacy. They fell into a routine pretty fast of Steve working out until Tony passed out from drinking. The Steve would roll Tony into bed to sleep it off and cry himself to sleep. They never spoke, hardly ever saw each other despite the close quarters. Much to the annoyance of the observing Avengers.

Even with the limited contact the conditions were driving them both insane. Tony found himself starting to reach for the bottle and not his breakfast in the morning when he woke up. Steve found himself taking a bottle to the gym with him, drinking as he worked out. Then slowly there was less working out, and more drinking. To the point where he didn't even bother wrapping his hands to box, just started to sit on the bench drinking until he started feeling sleep. Then he would check in on Tony and fall into bed himself.

Steve sat on the bench, hand on his knees exhausted. It was barely lunchtime, and he was already on the third bottle. He reached out for it, but it had just rolled on its side and out of his reach. Steve made a grab for it, and ended up on his ass having fallen off of the bed. He started giggling, him of all people giggling like a girl. It actually felt really good to cut lose a little, really really good. He laid there for a while, in hysterical laughter at himself and their situation. If eh didn't laugh, he would end up crying again, and the tears were getting too much for him to bear.

It had been six of seven weeks now, and he couldn't take much more he knew that. He was close to suicide himself now, but there was nothing sharp enough in the room to do so with. They had made sure of that when they set it up. They didn't want either of them quitting the programme until it was complete. He just wondered how much longer it would be before they realised that it was never gonna happen and let them go again. He really hoped it was soon, he missed the outside world so much. Missed being able to go for a run in the park, or buy a newspaper, or go to the library and pick a new book out by himself. Just the simple little pleasures of life, he heard it raining out side and started to shake. "The rain cries the tears that I can not shed." he murmured, listening to the drops falling. He'd give anything to be able to run outside and stand in the cool air right now.

"I need sleep," Steve muttered, using the bench to drag himself upright. Heading for the interconnecting door, it was early too early and Tony hadn't passed out yet. In fact he was sat on his bed crying his eyes out. Steve dropped his untouched gym wear on the floor, rushing over to the other man, and throwing his arms around him. "What happened?" he asked quietly, hoping his breath didn't stink like a brewery like he thought it did.

"Get off of me!" Tony snapped, "And take that whisky breath with you!"

"I'm just trying to help you that's all." Steve said hurt.

"Oh really?" Stark bit back, "Or are you just turning into your man crush Coulson and stalking me? I know you watch me while I'm sleeping! God only knows what else you do to me when I pass out, cause I am pretty sure that I don't want to know. "

"Its not like that at all Tony, I would never do anything like that to you. God why must you take everything the wrong way!" Steve demanded.

"Then what IS it like then?" Tony snapped, downing another drink, or two.

(*******)

Watching Natasha and Barton smiled. She dialled her phone, "Its show time boys and girls." Within seconds Coulson, Pepper and Banner appeared holding drinks and popcorn. They settled down to watch the fight play out.

"$50 on Stark punching Steve." Barton started the bidding with.

"$50 on Steve kissing Tony to shut him up!" Natasha countered.

"Are we really going to bet on them like it is some sort of game?" Bruce asked, "Its not really fair on them us treating their lives in such a careless fashion. These are people, real people that we know and care for. Not just a random actor on a TV show."

Pepper smiled at him, opening her purse, "Of course we are, we worked hard to make this happen. Its fun because we love them all so much. Now $100 says the sleep together before the end of the fight."

Coulson looked at his wife to be, with a wry smile on his face trying to trump her hand. "$100 says that Stark punches Steve in the morning when he realises that they slept together."

"Oh that is just evil!" Pepper answered.

"Just how you love me my dear." Coulson commented kissing her.

The bidding continued as Bruce sat back eating popcorn and shaking his head. "I just hope that this is finally the end to this."

Banner nearly dropped the popcorn as Thor appeared next to him on the sofa. "Did I miss anything?" He asked grabbing a bowl.

"Start of bidding, what can we put you down for?" Hawk asked.

Seconds later Loki appeared behind them, looking in interest at the goings on. They all jumped to their feet to act. "Oh be calm mortals, I just wanted to see what the entertainment is that had my brother so interested. I am not here to cause any troubles." He watched in interest, "IS this a fight to the death."

"NO!"

"Shame it would be more fun if it was." Loki commented, sitting down to observe as well, "I can see why you are interested, to see which survives the attack of the other."

(******)

"Its like that I'm completely head over heels in love with you, and I can't just sit here watching you tear yourself apart anymore. It kills me that every night I have to come in here and you are passed out on the bed because you don't want to speak to me. It shouldn't be like that, we should be able to spend more then a moment in a conversation without it turning to drink, or fighting! I WANT it to be that way, like it was before you ever found out I was in love with you." Steve shouted, all levels of control gone from his pain and how drunk he was.

Tony was on his feet toe to toe with Steve, "Oh like its any easier for me to wake up every morning to hear you crying your eyes out, and getting smashed in that gym alone! Wanting to open the door and see if you are okay or not, worried you might do something Stark level stupid. Takes a real hero to hide away like that and drink himself to death. For all your high morals, you aren't any better then the rest of us mere mortals despite what my father always used to say!"

"Why can't you just accept that I am never going to leave you? That you can trust me, rely on me? And stop trying to push me away all the time with your stupid comments about my honour and your father, and the past?" Steve shouted back," There is nothing you can say which will make me walk away from you, I love you too much to abandon you when you need me. Whether you think you do or not."

"Why can't you accept that I daren't let someone else in, anyone else into my life. Everyone I do just leaves me, and breaks my heart leaving me this disgusting mess of a drunken bum, The man that I never cared for or wanted to be. Dad quit and died on me, Oberdia tried to kill me, Brody is always off doing top secret missions now he's got one of my suits. Pepper? She went off and got engaged on me. I've never been good enough for any of them. Their scorn when they look at me is bad enough, but I can't take it from you as well. Not when..." Tony trailed off weakly, and dragged the bottle drinking straight from it.

"Please finish the sentance, Tony." Steve said icily calm all of a sudden.

"No, I am just being stupid."

"Tony, finish the sentence truthfully like you were just going to, I am begging you."

"I CAN'T!" Tony snapped, the glass bottle shattering in his hand he was holding it so very tightly. He didn't even notice it gashing his hand as it fell to the floor.

Steve grabbed Tony and slammed him against the wall, holding him there with one arm pinned against his throat so the Billionaire couldn't move and escape this. It didn't stop Stark struggling and kicking him, or biting his arm to try and get free. "For the love of God Tony, finish the fucking sentence before I bash your brains in! I NEED to hear the rest of those words. I can't breath right now, I need to know what you were going to say. PLEASE!"

"Because I'm a stupid old man, and I'm falling in love with you!" Tony bit out tears in his eyes.

Steve's blood froze, "Please tell me that you mean that." Tears falling fast, at the words he had waited so very long to hear, that he needed to hear so badly. The ones he never thought he could hear from Tony's lips, he never thought he deserved to hear them.

"I mean, I think I'm in love with you Captain Smart Ass." Tony said, "I can't image ever spending a day of my life without you being by my side. That it kills me every morning to wake up without you in my bed with me. That the first morning when I woke up in your arms was the happiest I have ever felt in my life. That I know its wrong, and stupid, and not my usual style, but when I look in your eyes I know that I have come home. You are the only person I have ever felt truly safe with. The only person to be able to tear down every wall in my heart with a simple glance. The only person to ever see the truth of Tony Stark, not the carefree, drunk, playboy I show to the rest of the world. You know the hurting, broken, exhausted man underneath it all. The one who is desperate to be loved, and that is the scarcest thing I have ever admitted to anyone my whole life. So go on, just walk away from me like everyone else always does. I know its going to happen, I'm not worth anything and I am certainly not worthy of the love of a great man, and a hero like you."

Anything else negative and degrading he might have said about himself, was stopped by Steve pressing his lips firmly against Tony's. A kiss so full of passion and need that it was nearly tearing him apart. He had one kiss, one tiny moment to show the hurting man how much he cared, and he wasn't going to waste it. He'd finally been granted another chance to make Tony and himself happy, he couldn't know if he would have another, so he had to make every single second of it count, before Tony crawled off back to bed with the bottle and his dark emotions. He couldn't bare it if Tony cried himself to sleep one more night, he ahd to try and fix him as best he knew how.

Their tongue's tangled in the impassioned embrace, it was so like the kiss in the hospital, but at the same time so very different now. Tony had finally accepted his feelings and who he was, and that was a wonderful precious gift that Steve would treasure until he's dying day whether they stayed together or not. Steve tangled his fingers in Tony's hair, holding onto him to keep him in that kiss as long as he could. he was so trying to hold on and not start moaning like a cheap bitch. It was like the whole world had stopped around them and there was nothing but him and Tony now.

Long moments later, the Cap pulled away breathing heavily. He had only broken the kiss because if he didn't, he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen to his brain. He felt boneless, like hew as about to collapse. They looked into each others eyes, both afraid of the others reaction. Steve coughed and tried to clear the eerie silence. "Too much?" he asked softly.

Tony shook his head, "Not enough, nowhere near enough. You could kiss me forever and I would never get tired of you." He grabbed the sides of Steve's face and brought his lips crushing back onto Steve's. A kiss so feral, it brought moans from both of their throats.

Then the blinds shut hiding the Avengers view of what was going off inside. "OH!" Tasha complained looking up.

"Agent Romanoff, I think they are due a little privacy don't you?" Nick Fury asked from the doorway, casting a dark glare at Loki being there.

Grudgingly they all agreed, and slow dispersed. Smiling Fury pressed a hidden button on the desk to release the door controls to the other apartment.

"I wonder how long it will be before they realise they are free?" Hawk asked, setting off a whole new round of betting.

Fury laughed, taking a peek around the curtain to make sure all was still well. Blushing, he pulled away and followed the others. "I give it 48 hours." he said dryly, "Minimum."


	11. Chapter 11

The Bitter Suite

Chapter 11

Authors note: Sorry for the long delay, been busy time at work and I'm laid up on a dislocated foot sighs. Pain and writing do not go well together. Hope this makes up for the delay.

As Tony kissed Steve, pulling his head in closer, Steve shoved him hard against the wall. Tony reacted instantly, his hands searching out the pleasure spot most people had on their back. He was betting that it was something the Soldier knew nothing about. He won as well, by the look of the glassy sheen of passion in his eyes as they kissed. "Www what was that?" he asked softly, leaning on Tony's shoulder for support.

"My dear virgin, that is one of a thousand pleasure spots on your body, which I am going to use liberally to my wicked advantage to try and get you into bed with me." Tony answered with a smirk, as he trailed the other hand up to rub behind his ear.

"Oh Lord." Steve murmured. "You don't need to lure me anywhere, I will freely go anywhere you want me to." he promised.

"Does that mean I can stop?" Tony asked with a smirk.

"God no!" he murmured, eyes widening in embarrassment at his words. Blushing a deep shade of scarlet.

Tony chuckled deep in his throat, "So the little virgin is enjoying dipping his toe into the sea of passion I can offer him then?" Kissing and nibbling down his neck, running his tongue along Steve's collar bone.

"Oh Lord yes." Steve moaned softly. Lost to know what to do in return, barely able to form words, or thoughts he was so lost in the sensations his body was experiencing. His hands slipping down to Tony's belt, fumbling uncomfortably with his buckle. He was red, he wasn't used to trying to undress anyone else and was clearly screwing it up.

Tony took his hand away, tracing his finger over the pulse point, inciting fresh gasps from the soldier. "No your first time is always a gift. Just lay back, relax, and enjoy yourself." he whispered. He pressed Steve back on the bed firmly, removing his shirt slowly, seductively, kissing down the serum perfected six pack.

Steve tried to concentrate, to clear his mind from the fuzz stopping him from being able to think clearly. "Are you sure you want this?" he asked softly, biting his lip, a faint blood trail dripping from his lip.

Tony lifted his head to look him in the eyes, "I know you have fantasised about this for a very long time, why resist this?"

Steve put a hand on his chest just below the arc reactor, to try and hold him back. "Because I want you to want this as much as I do. I want this to be real for both of us. Not for it to be the drink, or the confinement, or just the fact you are needy. I need to know that..." His voice broke, unable to finish what he was saying.

Tony looked at him sadly, "Do you think so little of me that you think I would take your virginity as a joke or a bet? I may be a playboy, but I have never slept with anyone who has been unwilling." He was hurt, more hurt then he had thought possible by the words and close to tears.

That broke Steve's heart, and without thinking he pulled him back down for another tender kiss. Trying to comfort him in the only way he could think of. "I can wait for you forever, if you need me too." he offered.

"Maybe I don't want to wait anymore, maybe I'm finally ready to accept what I am and who I'm actually in love with!" Tony exploded. He looked deep into Steve's eyes. stroking his cheek gently. "I am completely, impossibly lost, head over heels in love with you. From the first time we met there was a light around you so pure, so perfect that I knew I could never do without it. Every time I'm near you, I feel so different, so much better, just for being at your side. When you smile at me, my heart skips a beat. When we are apart, all I can think of is seeing you again. When we are together, I feel like I could do anything.

Yes I admit the whole fact that you are a man disturbs me. I never looked at a man before the way I look at you. I have to keep looking at girls to make sure I still like them. And there is no other man apart from you I can even think about in that way. I keep thinking that there's something wrong with me, that I need to punish myself, or get my head on right or something. That I shouldn't have these feelings about a MAN! If you only had breasts, I know I wouldn't have thought twice about it. I'd have taken you to my bed, tied you up, and kept you there forever." Tony said softly.

He took Steve's hand for comfort before he could try to carry on, stroking across the palm softly. "Its taken a hell of a lot of soul searching, and Odin knows how much whisky to be able to say this. Popp's baby boy wasn't brought up to think such things are..." Tony closed his eyes and found his whisky glass to empty it. Pacing the room while he finished his little speech. "Well lets just say there was a slight fling when I was 17, with a man from college. I was stoned, he was drunk. My father caught us in bed together. He'd been searching all day on a lead looking for you..." Tony broke off tears in his eyes, "We it didn't go well, not any of it, he'd gone to a few bars on the way home, and got in a state and then to find what he found..."

Steve listened in shocked confusion at the tale, "Howard, he hit you?" The Howard he had known was a really good man, he could never have laid a finger on anyone in anger. What had happened to him?

Tony turned slightly, and unlaced his belt to drop his trousers slightly to show off his lover back, and rear view. Pulling his tee shirt off slowly to show a dozen or more faint scars crossing his spine.

Steve came over the side of the bed, to stand behind him, running his fingers over the marks on his back. "Is that a belt buckle?" he asked, trying to chase the shape of the scar tissue.

Tony nodded, the tears falling softly, he didn't trust himself to speak right now. His whole body shaking from trying not to allow the other to notice his weakness, and the water on his face right now.

Steve carried on chasing down his spine as he noticed a long sharp scar stretching over his hip bone. "Tell me this wasn't him as well please?" he asked softly. It looked like it had been made by broken glass, that it had been stitched up badly and not healed right.

"That was something else, much later." he rasped. Flinching at the bare nakedness of something touching and exploring the wounds he'd hidden for so very long, on his body and staining his soul.

"My poor baby, my sweet angel." Steve murmured, kissing down the wounds so very gently. "I am so sorry for you pain. Let me make it better, please."

Tony's tears fell harder as the other kissed down the tortures of his skin. When he finished on Tony's back, he turned him around and checked his chest for any more. Pausing to kiss down a line of cigarette burns crossing his stomach. He tentatively touched the cool steel of the arc reactor. Not knowing if he dared to touch it anymore then that. "Can I hurt you?" he asked softly.

"You could never hurt me." Tony whispered back. Giving himself over stiffly, nervously to the administrations. He'd always liked to be in control of everything, after the beatings and rapes he ahd endured, keeping always in control of everything his whole life. Never giving himself freely to anyone, keeping himself balanced, calm and controlled. To let that go now was difficult to say the least.

Very, very slowly Steve moved closer to his chest, gently pressing his lips to where the cool metal touched the chilled flesh. Kissing around the bare edges of the reactor. Tony froze at the first touch, but slowly gave into the sensations. Those soft and gentle lips probing his skin. He moaned loudly, inciting Steve to trail kisses across his toned stomach as well.

"That is cruel!" Tony growled deep in his throat. He grabbed Steve's shoulders and slammed him back onto the breakfast table, ripping off the rest of their clothing as he did so. Pressing their lips together in desperate, hungry need. Nipping at Steve's lip, drawing blood, then licking it away again gently. The feeling of their naked bodies pressing together more then he could take. He ground his crotch against the Soldier, as they both cried out in pleasure. He bit down on Steve's collar bone, marking his property, his man as his very own. Stroking his hand down his inner thighs. Lifting the other man's hip higher, wrapping his legs around his back.

"How?" Steve asked, he wasn't exactly sure what went on between two men. He didn't want to screw things up.

"Shhhhhh." Tony whispered, he wrapped his lips around Steve's shaft sucking softly, running his tongue over the tip, teasing it. Steve lost himself in the pleasure building inside of himself, his mind not able to concentrate on anything but the stream of moans escaping from his mouth.

Tony licked his fingers, using one to start teasing Steve, who winced as the first finger entered him. It was uncomfortable, and almost sore. Tony sucked harder on his length to distract him form the pain. Slowly as the moans returned, Tony worked at stretching him, adding an extra finger, teasing, tormenting, probing. As the moans grew to an obscene level, Tony pressed himself at the edge, slowing pumping forwards.

"Are you ready/" he asked, "Do you want this?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Bittersuite**

**Chapter 12**

**Authors note: OMG why did no one tell me flicks site screwed up and missed out my steamiest chapter! Puts it right.**

Natasha snuck into the main camera control room with Pepper close behind her. She turned dials quickly trying to find the best angle of what was going on inside the chambers. The cameras were fuzzy and the lovers appeared to be in a blind spot. She tutted and moved the cameras around until she caught the sight of Tony's semi naked back and Steve kissing down the scars.  
Pepper gasped at what they were seeing,"Tony's never even let me see those scars and torments. He's never let a single soul look at them let alone touch them!" Tears in her eyes at the naked trust he was freely giving and receiving. "I never thought he would be able to..."

Tasha laid a hand on her arm gently, "Shh, just watch. Tony has needed this for a very long time. Someone to finally trust and let in. Steves needed the same thing just as long. Maybe the two broken soldiers together can find a sort of peace they couldn't find alone. Somehow heal the open wounds in both their souls."

"They certainly deserve some peace and happiness." Fury commented, leaning over them to pull out a circuit and kill the video feed. "And I thought I told you all that they deserved a little privacy to sort out their issues." With a raised eyebrow at them.

Pepper blushed, a rare feat for the sensible woman. She'd seen and heard enough over her time with Stark to think that nothing coyld embarress her anymore. The half blind black agent was enough to give even her pause. "I was just making sure that they were okay and nothing untoward was happening." She stuttered through.

"Making sure that after all the arguements that they weren't getting voilent or trying to kill each other. We might have needed to break it up!" Tasha dived in covering their backs.

"I'm sure." Fury said dryly, "The half naked man on man action had nothing to do with you two watching the video feed?"

"Nothing what so ever, just doing my job." Tasha said sweetly.

"Such a hard job, but someone has to do it." Pepper said innocently.

Nick typed in a complex series of numbers into the computer they had no chance of remembering. "Jarvis will warn us of any problems, otherwise leave them in peace!" He ordered.

"Fine!" Pepper pouted, picking up her purse and lurking out of the room. Natasha following shortly after, mattering about spoilsports.

X. X. X. X. X. X. X. X

The boys were all sat around in a local bar, Clint Barton brought over two fresh pitchers of beer and slammed them on the table. Banner was sipping at a diet coke, not risking anything that might trigger his darker side. Thor was drinking directly from his own pitcher, waving around his arms trying to explain a point to his tipsy brother. Loki was starting to look a little worse for wear from the strange brews.

Barton topped up the demi god's glass from one of the pitchers. "Look Loki, its really simple. They love each other, but they can't express that love to each other in the normal way." He attempted.

Banner looked over his glass at them, "The close positioning of the two of them in that flat is forcing them to face their inner most feelings and act on them. Its a form of forced group therapy. Sooner or later being so close to the object of their desire will force the inner beast within both of them to act out the fantasies they have been repressing for so long."

Loki took a long swig of the bitter drink trying not to cough and splutter too badly. Thor had dragged him drinking with the others and he was currently on his third of those strange jugs. Trying to understand these strange Midgardian games they were playing. "So you want them to drink, brawl, fight and procreate and then you will let them out?"

"Sounds like a good night on Asgard!". Thor chuckled, "You miss all the fun brother locked in your room with all your musty old books."

Loki's eyes flashed green, "Let me show you what this bookworm can do!" He vanished from the table without another word.

"Thor what have you done?" Hawk demanded, "Do we need to suit up?"

Thor shook his head, "My brother drunk is nothing more then a practical joker. As long as you don't mind waking up to find your hair green, or your arm made of rubber you have little to fear."

"Somehow I draw little comfort from that statement!" Clint answered.

Banner reached for a glass of beer and started sipping slowly.

X. X. X. X. X. X. X

Loki appeared in the shadows by the door of the flat, holding onto the doorframe to keep upright. Those human brews had their merits clearly. He hadn't been this tipsy since Thor's almost crowning as King of Asgard. He'd let the frost giants into the city then, it had seemed a great joke at the time.

Now this prank seemed even better. He watched the two men talking and crying. The solider looking at battle wounds on the old man's body. He rolled his eyes, clearly not the result the others wanted. But he was the God of Mischief, so he could change that soon enough.

Loki pulled out a bag from his cloak, a little something he had used against Thor now and then when he'd been annoying him. It was dubbed 'lust dust', he'd sprinkled it on a series of old hags who had chased Thor all over the city for days after.

He'd found it a wonderful jest when Thor usually chased young maids everywhere. Trying not to giggle and reveal his position, or fall on his ass. Loki openned the bag and blew the contents all over the two men. The entire pouch, he had only used a few pinches before so this should prove interesting.

Within moments kissing, moaning and other stuff started up. Loki gagged and vanished. Watching two men getting it on was nothing he ever wanted to see. He would much rather that they tore each other apart, but his brother had said he needed to be living in the world more for his therapy. So here he was trying to be a better person and do the right thing. He reappeared at the table and drained his glass in one.

"What did you do brother?" Thor asked.

Loki smiled sweetly, "I did nothing, admit nothing and damn well regret nothing!"

Thor went white seeing the small black bag in his brothers hand. "Lust dust? You drugged them?"

Loki smiled again, wide eyed and innocent. "Would I do such a thing?"

"Oh dear Odin help them!" The blonde uttered draining his pitcher.

X. X. X. X. X. X. X

Steve groaned as Tony slammed him onto the table removing the last of his clothing. Pleasuring him so perfectly, lost in a sea of sensations as Tony went down on him. Stretching him gently, giving even more pleasure to distract from the pain. He couldn't stop the needy cries coming from his lips, the passion he felt in every fibre of his being.

Steve had waited so very long for this, he had always been waiting for the 'right dance partner' to bare his soul to and spend his life with. He had never wanted to indulge in the sins of the flesh, there was no point. Not when he could never admit to what or who he really loved. The damage in his soul, the taint that made him love men and not women. For the first time he was greatful he had been on ice for 70 years, for now he could finally give himself over to a true love and true identity.

He screamed as Tony rubbed his dampness with his top. His mind barely registered that there had been a question in there somewhere. He looked at his lover a few times, blinking trying to sort out his jumbled mind. "Huh?" He asked trying to pull himself back from the edge.

"My beautiful virgin, are you ready for me to 'deflower' you in every single way I can think of? For me to drive you out of your mind with passion? Do you really want this broken old man to be your first lover?" Tony asked softly, scared a little of what he might answer.

Steve reached up and stroked his face gently, staring straight into his eyes. "Tony Stark, I have never been so sure of anything in my whole life as I am right now. I want you, I want this more then anything!"

Tony smiled faintly stroking the other man's thigh, "This might hurt for a moment and then it will get better. I promise that it will get a lot better!"

"I trust you, I always have." Steve answered.

Stark pushed inside gently, feeling Steve wince as the pain of a first experience kicked in. He sucked on the blondes nippleas he started to thrust in and out so very gently. "Relax baby." He murmered into the solider ear as he sucked the earlobe.

Steve gripped his back firmly and pulled Tony further into him wanting to take every last inch of his lover inside of him. "Oh god." He murmered.

Tony happily increased his speed to what his partner wanted. He always made sure he gave a good time to his lover before himself. He didn't feel worthy of taking pleasure for himself. Even so the blonde seemed to be working out far too quickly what he enjoyed.

Stroking down Tony's chest and thighs, biting his neck. Steve found that oh so perfect spot on his neck and bit down, kissing him in just the right way. Tony screamed as Steve closed tightly around his shaft. The passion was just too much, he clung to Steve's hips trying to calm himself before it was too late. His neck still being peppered with hot steamy kissed. "Stop." He warned, "I'm too close, I want you too much."

He trailed off as Steve pulled him in closer, "Take what you need, its okay I promise." To prove the point, he pulled the older man in harder once again.

Tony growled, pinning him down harder, wrapping one hand around his shaft stroking the tip as firmly as he dared. The other hand he used to pin Steve's hands above his head. The great Tony Stark never lost control first, he wouldn't be beaten by some meer slip of a virgin!

Their cries merged together as the pleasure built inside of them, their bodies becoming one and the same. Neither sure where one started and the other begain as their lips met each other hungrily. Steve's tongue darting into Tony's mouth, moaning against his lips as he could hold on no longer and came into Tony's hand and all over both their hips.

Breathing a sigh of relief that his track record was safe finally, Tony gave in and with one last extra deep thrust he came inside of his lover. "Oh Steve." He moaned softly, riding the sensation out.

Falling onto the table next to him as it shuddered and collasped under their weight and abuse. They both landed on the floor laughing in a tangle of sweat and steam. Drawing themselves into an impassioned embrace, kissing hungrily again.

"Did you enjoy your first time?" Tony asked between kissed.

Steve smiled cheekily, "I'm not sure, I think we should try it again. Just so I'm really sure."

Tony laughed, "Oh really Romeo? You ready for some more action already?"

Steve pouted, "Can I help I enjoy how you feel against my body?"

"Well I am perfect, so I expect no less." Stark joked, "Now I'm betting you have never had sex in a shower?"

Steve looked up at him, "You know I haven't."

Tony kissed him and stood up, "Well I feel the need to shower, and could you wish to follow feel free to join me." Walking away before he could answer.

Steve watched that firm fine retreating ass for a few moments, jumped to his feet and followed. Already hearing the water running inside.


	13. Chapter 13

**The bittersuite**

**Chapter 13**

**AUTHORS NOTE: and the smutt continues by request lol**

**sorry for lack of updates. Due to a relationship break down I have had to move house and I am without net. Bless Zuzana for putting these updates up for me =) should be back to normal in january. Thanks for your understanding.**

Tony turned on the huge shower and started running the sweet perfumed water. He expected the sexy blonde to be close behind him. He was clearly smitten, completely and utterly head over heels in love with Stark and he was actually finally okay with that. It was strange to feel comfortable with knowing that another man loved him, or in fact that anyone cared for him at all. Tony smiled to himself as he climbed under the hot water, he'd finally found his place in the world and it was a very good place to be.

The blonde entered the room and stood there watching as Tony soaped himself down. A grin spread accross his face as he lent against the wall taking full advantage of the view in front of him. That well toned body and that damn fine rear view.

"Like what you see?" Tony asked, "Do feel free to make the most of my naked body."

"Oh I fully intend to." Steve answered sneaking into the shower curtain to kiss down Stark's back, stroking his hands down Stark's thighs.

"The innocent Captain, not so innocent any more I see." Tony smiled, grinding his hips back into his lover.

"I'm sure you still have plenty of ideas how to rid me of that." Steve mumbled, nibbling on his shoulder.

"Just a few hundred." Tony answered, turning around to kiss his lover tenderly. Soaping down the other mans chest.

Steve soon caught onto the idea as they slowly started to wash each other. Tenderly stroking the skin into hyper awareness. Long tender hungry kisses moving swiftly between them. Caressing over Steve's rear, Tony nibbled on his ear whispering all the dirty things he was going to do to him as Steve moaned loudly, slipping his hands down to Tony's waist to wash his intimacy.

"Cheeky!" Tony whispered, slamming the blonde into the wall of the shower kissing his aggressively as the water splashed on then both. "Are you ready again so soon lover?" He asked, dropping his hand to wash and tempt the blonde as well.

He was so firm already, so ripe for the taking and take him he surely would. Over and over again until they were both exhausted. The super soldier and living legend wasn't showing any signs of tiredness yet and Tony knew fuelled on scotch he could go all night. Steve matched the rythum Tony set as they stroked, washed and teased each other as they kissed.

Growing hungrier at every single touch. Steve whirled Tony around and slammed him into the tiled wall, cracking the titles and showering their feet in shards and dust. "Ooops." He mumbled looking at the mess.

"Maybe I like my men strong?" Tony commented, pulling him back close. As Steve stumbled towards him, he slipped and fell over pulling Stark and the shower curtain down with him. "Perhaps not this clumsy though." He joked kissing him.

"Didn't mean to," Steve mumbled, "I got carried away."

"Oh did you now, and why is that?" Tony asked, stroking him firmly.

"Oh I think you know why!" Steve moaned, "How did I ever make it through seventy years without this!"

Tony chuckled, "Well now you have the next seventy to enjoy it with whomever you want to."

Steve pulled his face up to meet Starks, stopping the trail of kisses he was tracing accross his chest. "There is no one for me other then you, forever."

"Oh I'm sure of that Captain Silvertongue, until I start getting old and grey and you still look 25 and then you trade me in for a younger sprier model." He said bitterly.

Steve slapped Starks shoulder hard. "Don't you EVER talk like that again you hear me?! You are my eternity. My one and only love! I am never going to leave your side. I worked too hard for this, hell I never thought that you could ever be with me no matter how I felt about you! For you to admit that you love me, I could never ask for any more then that. Its more then I deserve, to love and be loved in return. I've done much bad things, too many of them in my past to ever find a moments peace."

Stark was shocked at the slap and the speech. "Can't hold your drink Cap? Its turning you into a soppy girl. Next thing I know you will be talking about getting married."

"Maybe we should." Steve commented.  
That stopped Stark dead in his tracks, "Are you serious?"

The Captain blushed and shrugged, "Would it be so horrible? Would it damage your image so badly? Ruin your style for the world to know Tony Stark is dating a guy?"

Tony's breath caught in his throat and he pushed away from the blonde, pacing the floor. "Is that what we are doing? Going steady?" He grabbed a robe and covered himself, suddenly feeling very exposed. His breathing ragged, trembling slightly.

Steve stood quickly and covered himself as well. "Damn it!" He muttered, pulling the other man around to face him, feeling the shudders running through the others body.

He dragged him into the other room, sat him down on the couch and fetched him a large brandy, forcing him to drink it. He had put the poor guy into shock. "Tony, breath please, its okay. I'm not like your father, or Pepper, or anyone else. I'm not going to leave you, I promise, not even if you get scared and try pushing me away again. Tony Stark I give you my word, I will always be by your side as long as you want me to be there!" He squeezed Tony's hand to reassure him.  
Stark drained the glass and looked slightly unfocasedly at the blonde. "I've never dated anyone my whole life. Always loved them, left them and never called in the morning. Never even though about any of them a second time. I've never let a single person in my whole life. I didn't want to get hurt again."

Steve refilled the glass to the brim, put the bottle down in easy reach and sat beside his lover. "Neither have I." He said gently, "Not until you came along. Perhaps two old broken soldiers can find a way to make each other something more then that. Perhaps together we can find the peace we both think we do not deserve." He stroked the others cheek. "What do you say old man, do you want to go steady with someone old enough to be your grandfather?"

Stark cracked a slight smile and kissed him. "What choice do I have Rogers? You already stole my heart and soul from me. Without you by my side I can't breathe anymore. You stole any form of reason from my mind, leaving me helplessly under your evil spell."

"Evil spell?" Steve asked with a raised eyebrow. "Well I better do something worthy of bewitching you then!"

He slipped Tony's robe undone and kissed down his stomach until he found his way to the 'forbidden' areas. He took him inside his mouth, softly suckling trying to mimic what Stark had done to him a few hours before. He was nervous at first, unsure if he was doing it right, but as Tony grew harder at hius touch and started letting out a series of low moans. He gained in confidence and speed.

Tony's fingers tangled in Steve's hair holding him in place as his blood boiled at the erotic motions. "You Captain are going to get laid again very soon!" He threatened.

"That's kind of the idea." Steve commented.

"Oh really?" Tony said with a smile, "Baby wants to play does he?"


End file.
